Merry Christmas, 2011

This has surely been a different kind of Christmas!!
We decided to travel to Kentucky this year.  It was decided last year when we had Christmas morning in Ohio.  Next year, we'll have it back in Ohio. For my side of the family, the morning of Christmas is the most important.  Gat's brunch is the bee's knee's.  She always has fabulous food and we get to see family that we see once a  year.  I love that I can keep up through facebook now.  I am so happy that we went because, as far as I know, this was Gat's last year giving brunch.  It is too much stress for her without granddaddy.  Speaking of which, being there without him felt very empty to me.  It just didn't feel right.

We went to a lot of different Christmas celebrations, and we still have a few more to go to in Ohio.  This year is so weird to me.  It didn't feel like Christmas. Going to my parent's house got me all excited and it really turned out to be a bit of torture and I'm still here. 
I didn't even get a picture of Sehara and Carson with Santa.  It was too expensive.  I will regret that so much.
Well, I hope your Christmas was filled with a little bit of wonderful!!  :)

Happy Birthday, Tim!

I loves my Harpo, Lawd knows I do (The Color Purple).

My husband is 24 today.  That's young.  I mean, I'm 23 and that's young too, but I feel so much older and he probably does as well.  He says he feels ancient.  I can understand THAT!

This morning I was so tired I forgot his birthday.  In my defense, Carson woke up like every hour crying and whining like a little baby.  That's a joke, obviously.  Not the part about him waking up and whining though, that's true.  Usually he just whimpers till I whip out one of the girls and make her do all the work.  Not last night.  7 a.m. rolls around and Tim gets up to wake Sehara and won't go get me some water so I throw a hissy fit and turn on all the lights and went about my routine that no longer exists. :P Tim then proceeded to threaten me that I'd have to take Sehara to the bus stop.  That ain't happenin' homie.  And it didn't.  I made him get up and take her.  Had I remembered it was his birthday I wouldn't have asked him to get me water and then I wouldn't have gotten mad that he refused to walk downstairs and then I would have taken Sehara to her stop.  We'll blame this one on Carson, the poor innocent little baby.

He already got his Xbox.  Got that at his party.  He has three games (that he knows about).  YOU BETTER NOT READ THIS BLOG.  I have to save some things for Christmas.  He has been playing the stupid contraption quite a bit. I don't plan on doing anything terribly special for him. :)  I hope his day is wonderful.

I'm Famous, Y'all!

Not really.
I read Babble blogs.  Well, I used to read Babble blogs, but I find most are boring these days.  I found some individual blogs from Babble that I enjoy reading instead.  Like this one: http://thegirlwho.net/

Yeah Buddy.  I submitted a photo to her and made her Babble blog:
http://blogs.babble.com/being-pregnant/2011/12/16/that-very-first-photo-fourth-edition/?pid=6486#slideshow

How awesome is that?!
Enjoy. :)

Love

Bonding through the Lord

You'll be okay

I got a twat account today.  That's twitter, in my language.  The only reason I am using it is to try to win organic things, and hey, I might!  I may use it one day, too.  Who knows.

This week has been all about Sehara. Yesterday she had a Christmas Carol at her school. She was adorable in it.  She had no solo parts, but that's okay with me.  She needs to find who she is before we get there.
 Tonight she has a Family Fun Night at her school, so we'll go to that!  Well, scratch that off the docket.  As I wrote that, Tim got back with Sehara and informed me that she has gotten into trouble again for talking so I suppose that means we are not going.  If it was a one-time thing, I don't think it would have deterred us from going but that's twice this week and all last week she's gotten into trouble for some odd things.  We really have to figure this out.  I won't have a child disrupting a classroom.  I want her to learn and all of her classmates to learn as well.

Earlier this week we ate at Tim's moms house.  Delicious dinner and dessert with Christmas decorating afterwards. Missy got Carson the cutest little Santa long johns with "Carson's first Christmas" on the butt flap. LOVE it. 

I also got a package for Sehara!!  She is going to be so excited to have her name on some things. Thanks, Connie!! 

About a week ago, I was driving Sehara and Carson someplace, I can't even remember now.  He was crying, as he usually does in the car.  She took his hand and said "Don't worry, Carson. Take my hand and you'll be okay".   

Fat Girl want some cookies?

I worked out yesterday and today, and last week, twice.
Nothing like a fat girl running.

Those first two days, I went outside on the sidewalk to do my business. I walked 1/4 mile, then ran probably like 1/16th mile then walked the rest home. Both times. Fat girls start out slow.  Besides, I seriously felt like I broke my vagina and everything was going to fall out.
Yesterday I ellipticized for 14 minutes on crossramp 8, resistance 2.
Today I ellipticized for 16 minutes on crossramp 8, resistance 3. 

I probably won't go higher than resistance 3, ever. I don't want big meaty legs. I just want toned legs. I have done it before and I can do it again.

I found this workout on pinterest:
Week 1: Run one minute. Walk 90 seconds. Repeat eight times. Do three times a week.
Week 2: Run two minutes. Walk one minute. Repeat seven times. Do three times a week.
Week 3: Run three minutes. Walk one minute. Repeat six times. Do three times a week.
Week 4: Run five minutes. Walk two minutes. Repeat four times. Do three times a week.
Week 5: Run eight minutes. Walk two minutes. Repeat three times. Do three times a week.
Week 6: Run twelve minutes. Walk one minute. Repeat three times. Do three times a week.
Week 7: Run fifteen minutes. Walk one minute. Run fifteen minutes. Do three times a week.
Week 8: Run thirty

I'll most definitely be modifying that once I get to week 5.  There ain't no way this girl will run for 8 whole minutes. Hopefully my attitude will modify itself by then!

Baby Butt

Butt

He's the cutest 2 1/2 month old carson I ever had.

Day Twenty Two

I figure today may be my last day of this blogging month thing.  I don't know because now I feel it is a part of my routine.
We took Carson to the doctor today.  He just has too much congestion and we weren't comfortable with him going unseen, just in case.  Isn't it always "just in case"?  He also has another little problem, but we are trying to figure that out.  Good news, though.  He weighs 12 pounds and 12 ounces!! That's a big boy.  Sehara weighs 49 pounds, she's a little girl!  That's always good.
Tim's birthday party is scheduled.  I accidentally scheduled it on my friend's daughter's birthday, so I needed to redo that. I never think it's right to have a birthday party on someone else's birthday.  Unless it is their birthday too.
It snowed yesterday and was so pretty.
I hope next November I can remember that the whole month is posting month.  :)

Day Twenty One

I tried a new recipe today.  It's called creamy white chicken and artichoke lasagna.  I'll have to post the recipe soon. 
That consumed my day, planning for it, shopping for it and then cooking it.  I need to do that more often because there isn't anything much better than preparing something everyone likes.  I can't wait to see what it will taste like tomorrow. 
Oh, I also went to the ladies devo at church this morning.  I woke up ten minutes before we left, ugh, and I didn't even put on a "real" bra.  I wore my sleep-time nursing bra.  It is so comfortable but it doesn't have enough support for daily wear.
Now, Tim is video gaming with his brother and I'm just having me time.  :)

Wise Tip #1:
Probably, you shouldn't say "fantastic" unless you have a British accent.

Day Twenty

I thought of one of the things I am thankful for!  I know there are many more, but I am very thankful for my Bachelor's Degree.  I worked very hard for that title. I mean, I worked my butt off.  It took me a while to even care about being in college.  I would say that towards the last two years I really took education seriously.  I got into neuroscience, play theory, gerontology, kinesiology, and aquatics something ferocious. I cannot express how much work it was to completely change the way I thought and dig in.  I usually go at things halfway and barely get them done, but I tell ya, I did it all the way.  I will (proudly) say that I impressed every single one of my professors by the time I had graduated. I increased my GPA (not by much though because I had already severely screwed it up) and my personal feeling of achievement, which to me, is more important.

When I found out I was pregnant, about a month after I had graduated, you can imagine my feelings... I won't lie, it was hard to accept.  I had plans to have an amazing career.  I knew it would take a while before I found a satisfying job that I could advance in, but that was okay.  But for as long as it took to accept having more children so soon, I knew that taking care of this little baby, spending time and bonding with him would be ten billion times more important than getting my high from a job.  We just changed our plans around a little and it worked.  Tim just had a few more months to graduate and he would get the job, we would struggle for a little, have our kids and I would eventually get a part time job, then progress into a full time when the kids got old enough.  It works.  We have OUR WHOLE LIVES, however long they will be.  God willing, we'll get at least 50 more years, ya know?  I can't imagine having children just to put them in daycare and not get to know them.  People are everything in this world.  It would stop without them (unless computers take over Matrix style) and my job as a mother is to nurture my children to be great people so they can live in a great world.

It's funny, because first impression may be that I do not use my degree, but I do.  I watch my 8 year old and my 2 month old grow and I help them develop like they should.  I can say with confidence that Carson is right on schedule with his development, besides his head.  He is so lazy (as in he doesn't control his head yet) when people pick him up.  I watch my husband struggle with his body and I help him. I watch people all around me and I get to observe their bodies do what I have been taught that they will do.  I notice when people don't walk normally and can have a meaningful conversation with them (because who doesn't like talking about themselves?) and build my relationships.  I don't act pompous about my degree and let everyone know all about it and think I am better than them.  I know when people know what they are talking about and when they are talking just to act like they do.  Whatever, but at least I have one.  I got it at 22 (if I had tried at all I would have got it at 20 or 21) despite these supposed obstacles being in my way, you know, the whole teenage parent thing. I think it speaks for itself, really. That's not bragging though, that's the truth.

December 2010

I can't help but to laugh because I can imagine my mom reading this post and saying " She's loving on herself".  I think I deserve a moment here for myself.

Day Nineteen

I had intentions of starting today of by making cheese grits for church lunch but, um, that didn't work out.  It's Tim's job to wake me up on Sundays for church and he didn't wake me up until 25 minutes to go, and that was an hour after church had started.  So, I didn't make those grits.  Another day.
Right after the meal I went to the mall with Amanda and her sister to do holiday shopping.  I finally got my shiny shoes.  I just don't get them until Christmas.  I got a lot of other things as well.  I am satisfied with the trip.
Back to church at 6, then to Golden Corral for Amanda's birthday dinner. What is it about Golden Corral that makes me need to use the bathroom?  It's like the smell of the place gets the belly moving.
Needless to say, it has been a long day, so after I annoy Tim a little bit I am headed to bed.
Goodnight!

Day Eighteen

I think that in order to understand what a depressed person or a person with anxiety feels, you yourself must have depression and/or anxiety.  You could probably relate, but not feel empathy.  You could feel sympathy but I don't think you could truly understand what is going on in that person's mind.  That's why when someone I know goes off their rocker and does stupid crap and says outrageous stuff, I get hurt but not offended and I understand where they come from. I only get hurt when it is directed towards me.  It is kind of complicated, but not really.
I went through a situation today where I knew someone understood me, and then where I knew another person didn't.  I had the option of sitting with two different groups but chose to sit by myself.  I didn't do it to be mean, it was just the only option that made me feel comfort.  I saw a soft couch with people, a table with wooden chairs with people, then I saw two lonely wooden chairs and I chose those.  It seemed comfortable, well, and it was. My MIL commented somewhere along the lines that sometimes we just need to be alone.  She was right.  I didn't realize I had chosen an isolated spot until they asked me if I wanted to join them.  I just wanted to be where I was and there is nothing wrong with that.  She knows how I feel.
During those few minutes I realized that my depression/anxiety really is coming back.  To the point where I may not be able to function by myself. Ah, the good days.

On a happy note, click here.  I want this so bad for Carson. Too bad they are all out. I wonder if there is another brand.  I don't want anymore bulbs or electric suckers. I want one just like that. This one wouldn't hurt, either. It's a fight for him each day. EVERY SINGLE MORNING he can't breathe and it is so sad.  I also want to get a crib mobile for him but those bad boys are expensive.  You know what, there are a lot of things I want still.  Like a high chair.  I want a big honking pretty high chair, maybe a nice wooden one.  Those are coming back in style. For Sehara, I want her to have things with her name on them.  It's so unique.

Isn't she beautiful?

Hungry! He has found his fists!

I would eventually like a really nice sewing machine and all the colors to go with it.  Then, I would like a lesson to use said sewing machine. I want sparkle pumps.  Tim is getting me a pair for Christmas. Payless has one pair in size 7 that will do!  If I get lucky, tomorrow I will go get them for him to wrap and they will be cheaper so I'll be able to get a second pair 50% off.  Wouldn't that be exciting?!?  I would like skinny jeans too.  These are mostly all reasonable, besides that sewing machine.  Have you seen how expensive those things are?  KitchenAid mixers are high too.  Crazy high.  I would enjoy the book called "Play: How it shapes the brain...".  Tim wants some airsoft gear.  Megastore has this vest with a bunch of pockets and mesh covered goggles. 
I ran a little today.  It was the second time I have done it since birthing the baby.  Today was better than the other day.  I didn't go any further and I didn't try harder, but I did it and that's all I could do.  I am pleased with myself. I do plan to continue.  It's not hard to get to.

Day Seventeen

We started this day off at 12:00 a.m., doing some black Friday shopping, at Target. Yes, I am officially one of those idiots.  We only went for Tim's birthday present: an Xbox.
But, it didn't start well at all.  We got there over an hour early and the line was wrapped around the parking lot.  Okay, well, I would just wait in the car with Carson while Tim stood it out.  I unlocked the doors so I could move to the driver's side, got out and went over, then tried to open the door and it was locked.  Um, Panic.  So I went back to the passenger side and that was locked too. Here is the thing though, I DOUBLE checked that the driver's side was unlocked before I even opened my door and as far as I know, the car has never automatically locked.  I'm just wondering if I hit lock out of habit when I got out, but I don't remember doing so, and I can't picture myself doing it.  This has been one of my fears since, forever.  I never did it with Sehara. Thank God that Tim's mom has AAA for us.  The funniest thing about the whole situation is that while we were figuring out our game plan, before Tim got out of the car, I had passed gas and it stank something ferocious.  I cracked the window and never rolled it back up.  Just an inch or so.  So, that's the best thing, because the AAA guy didn't have to jimmy our car and ruin the locks and the car vented out the almost full blasting heat during those 30 minutes of torture. 
After the fact Tim wanted to go home.  Heck no, no way.  I'm sorry, but what a waste of adrenaline. I made him get in line with me and the baby (well covered) and we kicked butt and got what we needed.  After everything, it was worth it.  We saved so much money on that XBox and if we hadn't gotten it we would have been so depressed. I mean, not only that, but they had great deals on some movies!
We got home probably around 3 a.m. and I slept until almost 12, waking up to feed Carson.  Ugh, but something about the day really flared my anxiety.  And then I had a good hour where I couldn't handle anything because Tim changed plans while I had been waiting already and that was a bad situation.
We enjoyed a nice visit at Melanie's, kinda helping her get ready for her dinner, which was fabulous.
So, here I am, I have been home and I have taken a nap and I have woken up in time to write this blog and have it post later. 

Day Sixteen

Oh, Thanksgiving!  Happy thanksgiving everyone!
I woke up sad today.  I really felt ungrateful and depressed.  I didn't have any desire to do anything, I didn't find anything funny or cute or relaxing.  I mean, it doesn't get much meaner than that.  I didn't feel like it was a holiday.  Ugh.  I really don't know why. 
I had some delicious cornbread though.  It was really sweet.
I also got to spend time with Tim's cousins who are pretty cool.

Day Fifteen

Crunch time.  CRUNCH TIME!!  Um.
Ok, Sehara went shopping with her grandmother today then cooked with her.  Some very much needed one on one time.  
I took a nap with...myself.  Turns out Tim didn't even spend some quality time with his kid
Whatever.
We donated some clothes that were older and didn't fit in those big yellow donation things that are on random corners. It gave us some room in our room.
I forgot all about church. So, that was fun.  It twisted my whole day around. 
My day was a lot more meaningful, I just don't care enough to type it all. 

Day Fourteen

I made the best potato soup tonight for dinner.  It's amazing what following a recipe on Pinterest will do.
The SIL and I plan on making some nifty crafts for Christmas!  I am getting excited... BUT HOLD ON SANTA, the turkey must make his appearance first.
We finished off our day by watching the Adjustment Bureau.  I loved it.
OH my GOODNESS, WHERE DID MY POST GO?  It still isn't there. 
If you haven't noticed, I am trying out new titles for my blog.  I don't know what to use.  I will figure it out.
I am entering for kitchenaid appliances. I really want a mixer.  REALLY bad.  When I have my own house, or course.  I mean, I would take it now but it would have to sit in my closet until it gets put on a counter top. :D

Day Thirteen

What's up with Blogger?  haha, It isn't functioning correctly.  Doesn't show my post from yesterday.  I'm not about to write it again.
I wanted to say, and not to any person in particular, it's just been on my mind: I don't have a blog to bash people.  I get mad and I vent, that's just what I do.  I also don't have this here blog to put people on pedestals (can you believe I had to look that word up to spell it!) when it isn't true. I used to suck up to people but that's not what I am about anymore.  I, also, don't put my tail between my legs and whimper in a corner.  I put my crap out there and you take me or you leave me.  I'm not perfect and I make mistakes ALL the time.  I do wrong more than right and I claim most of it, but definitely not all. I love people hard and hold grudges for a LONG time. It's just what I do, that's me.  I hope that my habits will mature and I try to work on them, but then sometimes I couldn't give two craps enough to care to work on them. 
I just can't justify not being myself anymore.
OH MY GOSH, WHERE IS MY DAY TWELVE BLOG!!?
I still cannot find it.
Yesterday, at church, I decided to join my Aunt Dee's class.  It is for high school/college/young adult ladies.  She started on the topic of forgiveness.  I love that topic(because I really suck at doing it and want to justify that about myself) and I also love the topic of honesty.  Anyway, forgiveness is something I studied in my past religion so I'm good at explaining it.
SO, Sehara got a spanking in church last night.  She laughed at me afterwards.  LAUGHED, I tell you.  So I did it a few more times.  Get this, she cracked up so hard she doubled over.  I won't tell you what I did after that because it isn't very nice.
Carson is getting some much needed tummy time.  He was lazy in front of his doctor.  She tried pulling him up by his arms to see if he would control his head and he didn't.  The little booger just let it hang, then smiled.  She told him that he would catch up. But then she sat him up and he did keep his noggin up himself and she said that was perfect.
Have you seen the Paula Deen cooking show?  If so, have you seen her stainless steel measuring cups?  Those suckers are awesome. I want them.

Day Eleven

Eleven is weird to spell.  Have you ever done so?
I decided to relax with Tim and my kiddos today.  It was tough at first because of being so upset with Tim, but he made me work it out.  No more silent treatment for him (today).  It lasted a good four hours.  I can say that one of the best qualities in him is conflict resolution.
Sehara, Carson, and I are watching "Up" right now. She is anyway.  I never saw the end of it so I suppose I'll pay attention really quickly. 
It was super cute!   I am working my way through a bag of dove milk chocolates tonight.  I need to clean up a bit as well.  Everything is messy.
I'm thanking God I didn't have to take Carson back to the pediatrician today,  His problem cleared up.  I know it was a reaction to his shots. I'll bring it up before he gets more. 
Speaking of reactions.  I ate Okra today.  As usual, it is very tasty but it gives me the poops in under two hours.  I won't elaborate on how I know it's the okra.  Use your imagination.  MENTAL IMAGE. 
I need to get off of here and clip my toe nails and take the paint off.  It's nasty looking. 

Day Nine

This whole blogging everyday thing is kind of therapeutic
My day started off with a grumpy baby.  Then, while grumpy baby fussed, I had to fold my fat layers into a girdle to go try on a bridesmaid dress.
My BIL picked me up and we went to my SIL's place to eat lunch, then went on our way to David's Bridal.  By the way, bacon in a grilled cheese sandwich is too good.  Why is it that good?  Like I have said, everything is better with bacon.
Successfully found a dress on take three. Sadly, I am in a size 12, again.  I won't pretend it's just my boobs, because it's my stomach too.  I will lose it, again.
I got back home just in time to be reminded that there was a ladies devo sock exchange at church tonight that I was going to.  I forgot about that, therefore forgot to get a pair of socks to exchange.  Oh well, it's ok. There was a lovely message delivered by Ms. Kayla and good food.  That's all I needed.  Besides a nap.
I am SO TIRED!!  I can't wait to go see my crazy tomorrow.  Three of her kids have the chicken pox though, but she's safe in the hospital so it's ok that we go to see her, Carson and I.   
Tim has his monthly airsoft campout tomorrow night so I'll be going to visit Kayt with Amanda and Sehara + Carson. And Kayt's son will be there.  I think we'll make chocolate bacon and bake some more.
Seems like my laundry is piling up again.  Doing it for four people is crazy.  If you don't keep on top of it it gets to be overwhelming.  Plus, all my clothes are dirty so that's more motivation.
Alrighty then, I am off to bed!  Goodnight.

Day Four

Oh, wonderfuuul day.
We watched a few movies last night with Dan and Amanda and just had a wonderful time.  Then, this morning Tim and I watched another movie.  Basically, we just relaxed.  Tim has been taking care of his Uncle's dogs this weekend.  That was random, huh?
I've been looking up inexpensive Christmas gifts for my ladies.
My little brother asked me his opinion on a tattoo.  Don't do it Daniel, just don't do it.  Really, I have no doubt in my mind that you will regret it later.  Seriously, don't do it.
I absolutely adore hanging out with my babies.  I don't get to see Sehara much during the week because of school.  That's always a downer to public schooling.
I got my SIL hooked on Pinterest. I mean, have you seen that sight?!  I love it.
I am quite tired.  I think this is the best I can do today!

Day Three

Let me just begin by saying that Sehara is indeed sick.  She has strep throat.  Her pediatrician called this morning and let Tim know.  He looks at me and tells me.   I jumped out of the bed and am all like: "oh crap, she's at school!! She's going to get everyone sick!! I have to go get her."  Imagine me all dramatic like, running around the room throwing clothes on, grabbing the keys, kissing my baby and husband and dashing down the stairs.  Third time I have left my baby.  Have we noticed that Jenni hasn't left her baby to do something fun or hang out?  I let Grandmama know what was happening and rushed to the school.  Where I then proceeded to wait about 30 minutes for them to get her.  She was in music class and testing is going on so they can't do an over-com announcement (?).  Her ped. called in the medicine and we picked it up at Kroger.  I do love Kroger.

My neck hurts.  It's like, stiff.  What's up with that?
shooooooooooo. I meant to post this 5 hours ago. 

National Blog Posting Month- Day One

Did you know it is national blog post month?
Read here:   http://www.blogher.com/novembers-nablopomo-national-blog-posting-month 
Apparently, you are supposed to blog, for blogging sake.  There is no theme.  Well, I have already missed the grand prize by 9 days, but hey, it wouldn't hurt would it?  That is, to get a post in everyday for the rest of this month!
Today I think I will blog about my latest adventure.  It was an hour ago, to rite aid.  Horrible.  I went to get my free photos and didn't think that maybe I should take my email confirmations, you know, because all this technology we have these days.  Turns out, Rite Aid doesn't let their employees know when things are already rung up free.  We just drove 10 miles out of the way to get them, no biggie.  The lady there just couldn't imagine what I meant by promotional code and free.  SO, I am going to print my confirmation emails out and get my free photos, even if it isn't worth it now with gas.  BUT, Tim and I decided that to kind of even it out, he would make an account with them and upload some photos and get the same deal, then print his confirmation email out, and we'd drive our happy butts right back up there and get them!
We'll do that tomorrow morning.
Turns out there is another RiteAid right down the road.  Hey, I'm not from here, and it didn't say "Fairborn", it said "Enon".  Didn't know Enon was literally right down the road... I only recognized "Xenia" and clicked that.
Sehara lost a tooth today! She woke me up at 6 a.m. to chat about it. Fun, fun.

It's been a while!

Well!  Heller there! Haven't been here in a while.
It's nice to get a break from things. Not that I work hard at my blog to get a break....
Sehara was Sharpay for Halloween and Carson was a lion. We had fun and did some pumpkin carving, a harvest cookout and trick or treating. Sehara got a ton of candy for me!  I mean, herself.  She doesn't need all of that, and the weirdest thing is Tim is guarding her candy from me.  Why is he doing this?!!  Probably eating it all when I go to sleep.
We have a PTC at Sehara's school tomorrow.  I almost dread it!  She has gotten in more trouble than ever lately.  I know her teacher is just going to lay into that!  AND I know sehara isn't telling me the WHOLE truth about these situations.
Carson is a sweet little boy!  He is getting so chubby.  I just love it!  He has been smiling so big for a few weeks now. :) He also snorts like the little piggy he is when he gets upset.
And I think I am sick. My throat is killing me.  I hope I don't have strep, but I have a bad feeling.  Or it could be a sinus infection?!

Once again, I seem to start writing posts and I don't publish them.  I guess this one was kind of pointless anyway.  I feel better!  It's Friday now.  I wrote all that stuff Tuesday or Wednesday.  Tim and I had a parent teacher conference at Sehara's school last night.  She said S is doing great and has A's in all areas except reading.  She said S is a little behind there, but had a B, which is unusual.  The only thing negative she had to say was about S's behavior.  She's very chatty and seeks attention.  We have to work at this at home because I don't want her to be "that kid" and I really want her to get as much out of her school as she can, positively.

I just found out that I get to go to Kentucky today!!! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO.  Gotta pack, chat at you lata!

Just the worst...

Okay, If you don't appreciate my bowel movements, don't read this. You'll be scarred for life.  But, then you'll also miss the funniest  post I've probably ever written.

I'm going to take a shortcut here.  This is a message I wrote to my friend explaining the situation (yes, I tell my amigos all about my poopies):

omg, I can't even text this, bc it'll hurt my fingers! I just had the WORST mommy moment EVER. (lol, seriously). So, here I am sitting on the bed with Carson and I feel that spikey caterpillar feeling in my belly, like I'm going to have raunchy gas or the worst blowout ever. I hold my breath and wait for it to pass. It passes, then I immediately feel the blow out about to happen. Like, I better run. RUN, I tell you. WELL, right at that moment, Carson decides to choke. Wonderful, right? Naturally, I grab him and run for the toilet. I don't even know how I got my pants down in time. SEriously, I don't remember. I'm banging on his back and crapping at the same time. Then, get this, he's hungry. And my butt is still exploding. So, I pull up my shirt and put my booby in his mouth. He's making these nasty faces the whole time and all I could say was "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" bc you know that was grossest thing he's ever smelled. I get done, and Tim's still not home from getting Sehara, so I'm all like, what do I do? Do I put him on the floor to wipe or do I wait. I figured I had done enough damage, so I waited. Ugh. UGH. HORRIBLE. I've probably traumatized him from the toilet/potty training. Good thing their memory is similar to those of goldfish! 

 

Anyway, you can judge me, because how horrible am I?!?!  Just a bad experience.   The worst part is that I know my poor baby will have some serious cramps and blow outs himself and that's sad to think about.  Because it's all my fault, because I've eaten something that my body hates, and so will his.

Simply Ten Good Things

My friend Connie wrote about ten simply simple good things here and it's inspired me to be grateful and write about 10 things that I am thankful for. I'm not gonna make it all fancy.  Just write about what makes me feel gratitude.
1.)  My family.  Not just my husband and two wonderful children, but my mom and grandparents and everyone that helps us and supports us.

2.) My crazy friends that keep me crazy.  They know who they are.

3.) Grilled cheese sandwiches.

4.) Chili.  Never underestimate the power of chili. Seriously.

5.) Time away from the house.

6.) Doing something different; deviating from the plan.  Changing things up, moving furniture, driving on a random back-road (Tim driving, me looking at the trees). 

7.) Music that motivates me to move.

8.) Baby farts.

9.) Diet Dr. Pepper and the caffeine-free kind.

10.) Breastfeeding.  I was extremely worried that something would go wrong, but we're both doing great with it.  Yeah, it gets hard being the only one who can feed him but I wouldn't have it any other way.

My New Baby

Words cannot express the love that I feel for my new son.  I am so blessed to be able to have a safe delivery and a healthy baby, and a clean and happy/calm environment to take him home to.  He is almost two weeks old and I am obsessed. I'm addicted to him.  I can't get enough baby kisses, I am so glad that I'm the only one who can feed him so I get some special time with him every two hours.
He grunts all the time when he's awake or when he is in the process of waking up.  It kills Tim during the night!  He is so attuned to Carson at night time, he even startle-awakens to check on him making sure he's still breathing and the covers aren't covering his nose.
He's the best baby ever.  He cries only when he has gas, gets changed, and gets buckled into the car seat and really it's only whimpering. 
His eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue.  I understand that could change and if it does... they would be the most beautiful shade of whatever color they are. :)
I really can't go an hour without holding him and I don't have to worry about that unless he has visitors, but, I don't complain because they need to bond with him too. 
Carson has the most gorgeous fingers and toes.  Except his big toes, those are mine and not so pretty...  His nail beds make Asain's look like nothing special, that's how pretty they are.  Perfect shape.
He's really grumpy if you wake him up or move him while he's sleeping.  I guess he gets this from me. 
We just gave him a pacifier a day ago and he doesn't appreciate it.  We won't force it. 

My Birth Story

*This post contains some pretty graphic pictures and details.  If you don't want to see, click that X in the top right corner*

Our intention was always to go naturally.  Like, completely natural...almost in a hippie fashion because let's face it: it's healthier for the baby and the mother.  I will put in my little disclaimer so no one yells at me, that it is safer for some mom's to have a c-section... yada yada.  Because it is.  I had no road bumps in my pregnancy for a c-section to even be considered though.  We wanted to go as natural as a water birth or the squatting kind.  In the end, we decided laying on a bed would be the most interactive/easy for my team and I.

Anyway, at 37 weeks, I started dilating and it was going to be at least one more week.  38 weeks, still 1 cm and it would be at least one more week.  Tim and I realized Sehara's birthday was only 2 weeks away from my due date.  So at 39 weeks, being only 1 cm still dilated and at least one more week we asked about the possibility of being induced.  Our doctor asked us to come back at the end of the week to see if I had progressed anymore and we would see where to go from there.  One day before 40 weeks, on Friday, still only 1 cm dilated and my effacement had gone down, like stepping back on the progression board (only from him moving around and not putting pressure on my cervix).  We decided we would jump-start labor the next morning with gel, and more importantly, not pitocin.

We got to the hospital a little early, 5:45a.m. and started the paperwork.  Finished by 6:00 a.m., very conveniently, and got escorted to our suite. The nurses were about to change shifts, so one just came in to put an i.v. in and the monitors on.  Then we met our nurse for 12 hours, Marilee, and fell in love!!  She let me know that I could be as mobile as I wanted as long as I wheeled my little "friend" around and that my doctor called and said he was on his way.  7:25, he came in, massaged my cervix for a good while with the gel, and chatted with Tim, Marilee and I for about an hour about timing things and degrees that we all had.  I had what seemed very similar to Braxton-Hicks only they got stronger and stronger.  Around 10 a.m., I was officially "in labor".  The plan was to use, if I needed them, 2 doses of the gel and if I didn't dilate enough, THEN pitocin would be given to me.  My mom and sister arrived about this time!!!  (YAY)  Around 11, I had my second internal exam and I had dilated to 2 cm.  The nurse seemed very pleased and said that I should have my baby by the end of the day...  But, I had to have a second dose of the gel.

4 hours later and nothing.  I hadn't dilated or effaced any more. My Doctor was constantly communicating with the nurses and had them give me the option of eating and showering or just starting the pitocin.  Of course I chose to eat!!  Pitocin was given an hour later.  The nurse came in a few times and increased the dosage.  The contractions started getting more and more painful.  I had my team and my ball so I could handle it.   After 4 or 5 hours I got another internal exam to see if I had progressed.  I hadn't.   I was so sad.  Everyone but Tim left the room and I balled my eyes out because the plan was if I hadn't dilated at all, I would be taken off everything for a few hours, I could eat again, then around 12:00 a.m. I would be started on pitocin again.  I just felt like my body wasn't doing what it should do as a woman.  I didn't go into labor naturally and now my body wasn't taking this "stuff".

So, everyone went to sleep for the night, away from the hospital, and Tim and I tried to get some rest.  I had to be given an Ambien to sleep.  I hadn't slept for about 48 hours until this point.  I don't remember much until 12 or 1 a.m. when a new nurse came in to give me pitocin again, then I fell back to sleep.  I startled awake around 3 a.m. with an oxygen mask on my face and a bunch of tubes all over me.  Scary!!  I woke Tim up and he got the nurse.  She explained to me that the baby had some distress once the pitocin kicked back in and she had talked me through what was happening but I was completely out of it...  I went back to sleep, mask free, until some time in the morning.   My nurse, the awesome one, told me she wasn't playing anymore and cranked the pitocin up and up and up.  I had another exam and I still hadn't dilated so they decided they wanted to go ahead and break my water.

I just had to wait a little while because there were like 3 emergency c-sections going on.

Around noon, the cutest little doctor came in and did the deed. I was so mean to him.  He decided to break my water in the middle of a contraction.  Jenni was not a happy camper.

An hour later I had dilated to 4 cm.  My doctor decided to come to the hospital and wait it out in my room, with my family.  That was super awesome!!  Only, he kept talking... and one of my "rules" (completely made up out of pain) was no talking during a contraction.  The second rule was, if you were in my room during a contraction, you had to be rubbing some part of my body.  It was weird, but it worked.  And my doctor was loud.

Unfortunately, the pain was causing some serious anxiety.  My nurse kept asking me if I wanted an epidural, and I did not, but I did request some kind of pain medicine. We decided on Nubain.  The first dose was absolutely wonderful.  I still felt the contraction at its peak, but I didn't feel it start or end.  So lovely, and it took away my anxiety so I could focus on my breathing.  Another hour passed, and that Nubain wore off.  My doctor allowed a second dose but it didn't do squat.  At this internal exam, I was 8 cm dilated!!

I went to the bathroom, for the billionth time.  My doctor told me that when I got back to the bed, I would probably need to use the bathroom one more time and I would feel like I needed to poop and push, but not to push on the toilet.  When that happened, to let him know.  So after a good 10 or 20 minutes (not exact timing here), I went back to the bathroom.  I was really just eager to get it done with. BUT, I felt enormous pressure, definitely like I need to poo and I couldn't help, literally, to push.  I yelled out to him and headed back to the bed. He checked me and I was fully dilated, but with just a little "lip" left on my cervix.  He said that if I felt the need to push, go ahead and do it.

The doctors and Tim suited up (that cutie doctor that broke my water was there to assist).  I'm writhing in pain on the bed and pushing.  When they got to the bed they could see the baby's cone head!  So, I just kept pushing and pushing.  Actually, after I pushed that first time, I got a little 2 minute reprieve from contractions.  Ha!  Bad timing!!  They kicked in again and I did what I needed to do.  I remember a burning pain, like a HUGE burning pain in my lady parts but I pushed past it.  Tim actually delivered our son with the help of both doctors.  He only froze once when the baby needed to be rotated.  I will never forget the relief I felt when Carson was completely out.  Pain-free, literally.  Everything felt better.  I had only one more desire to push, and that was for the placenta.  Which I requested to see, and my doctor obliged and gave everyone there a tutorial on the anatomy of my placenta AND giving me the utmost compliments on how it  was evident that I was not a smoker, I took my vitamins and very good care of myself during pregnancy. :)

After nearly 30 hours of labor, Carson was born at 2:32 p.m.  He weighed 7 pounds, 9 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long.  The 1/2 was his cone-head, but the doctor gave it to him anyway!  Enjoy the pictures!!

 

Ok, so I can't figure out how to make these photos look good.  Oh well.  Enjoy anyway.Oh, and P.s., Poop happens!!  It did for me and it was pretty gross but, what do you do?? :)

40 weeks

40 Weeks

We started our 40 week mark bright and early at the hospital to get labor moving along.  Here I am in all my pregnant glory!!  I look hott, no seriously, I do. I had to hold my boobies up in the picture so they didn't sag! Going in the 40th week I craved chili like no one's business.  My hips started hurting again because I missed a chiropractor appointment.  I stayed only 1 cm dilated. My little boy started getting super active again.  Painfully active. 
Turns out, that stroller/car seat set that I love is defective.  The car seat didin't fully buckle down into the base.  DANGER.  So, we have to take that back and we got another set.  It has purple on it. ;)
I couldn't sleep at all anymore.  My legs twitched so bad that I cried all night long from fatigue/discomfort.  Then I couldn't breathe because my nose was stuffed up from crying.  It was hard.  Anyway, this post isn't long, but it needed to be posted because I DID make it to 40 weeks.  :)

39 Weeks

Tim holding Zach

39 Weeks

Stretch Marks on the war path

Yes, I am still pregnant.  Seems to be a running theme these days.  Literally, the most annoying thing about still being pregnant is everyone asking me where my baby is.  Isn't it obvious?  He's still in my uterus, which is connected to my vagina, so thanks for asking.  My mom says it's just because everyone is anxious and stuff.  REALLY?  I don't really care.  I seriously want to skip church tomorrow because that's all the crap I'm going to hear.  I honestly don't know when his birthday will be and I still have at least another week before I am even due. 
Our cousins, Jeanine and Adam, had Zachary Pugh on Friday morning, 8:20 a.m.  He weighed in at 8 pounds, 2.4 ounces and 20 inches long.  An adorable butterball if I do say so myself.  That picture of Tim with a baby is his first time holding a newborn.  Just wait until this one is 5 minutes old, that'll be even newer for him to hold.  He was scared, scared I tell ya, to hold him.  Didn't want to be the one to drop him... 
I don't have much pain to complain about!  I do get horrible Braxton-Hicks if my bladder is remotely filled or if I have to poop.  I weigh a ton, literally, and I'm getting more "swallowed a watermelon" comments.  My old stretch marks are stretching further and getting red at the tips.  That saddens me but I know that after I have all my kids I am so getting that fixed.  Tim and I have agreed that if it's important enough for me to want a better looking belly, then it's worth the investment.  Once again, AFTER all of our babies are birthed.  I'll lose the weight of course, so there will be no need for that liposuction that usually goes with a tummy tuck.  I just need the loose skin off.  I don't even care much for some stretch marks remaining as long as that skin is clipped!!
All of the cloth diapers we have are finally washed and put away.  We decided to use the disposable until they are gone, then start in on our cloth.  We did take a few packs of disposables back to the store because they are pretty expensive and we wanted other things more.  We wouldn't even be able to go with cloth if it wasn't for Missy, Tim's mom.  She has basically bought all of them, and they aren't cheap.  But then, we wouldn't have been able to afford getting disposables every other week. We came out on top in this particular situation.
I'm eager to see if I have made any progress with my cervix this week.  Tim told me in the car today that he thought maybe because I had to get induced with Sehara that my body didn't learn how to go into labor naturally.  To be honest, I have thought that myself, but I never connected that thought with "me".  I thought it about other women who would just go get induced as soon as the doctor gave the green flag and didn't give their bodies time.  I am not an expert at all, just a passing thought.
Anywho, I am totally drooling over Nora Robert's "Gallaghers of Ardmore trilogy" and I think I'll get back to the second book. 

38 Weeks

38 Weeks 2 Days

Ahh, I need to take a picture.  A bit has happened since my last post.  Not big events, but events none the less.  A lot still needs to happen: pictures for proof.  Tim and I go on walks almost every night, it's our thing.  We are blessed to live with his grandparents, so it's easy to walk for an hour once Sehara goes to bed.  Without them we wouldn't be able to!

Well, my tooth broke off while eating a Charms cherry flavored sucker, on one of our walks.  Ugh, not only did it cut the walk way short, it really upset me.  Didn't hurt at all, just, ughhh.  I do not enjoy teeth problems.  I wasn't comfortable eating or drinking anything but water so you can imagine I was very hungry.  I promptly called a random dentist first thing in the morning and got in that day. 

1/3 of my laundry

Little infant carrier.  Too cute

Awesome matching Stroller

another 1/3 of my laundry

My friend Brandi also took me out that day to save me from my misery.  I got a wonderful pedicure and we walked around the mall a little.  AND THEN Olive Garden.  YEah Buddy!!!  I ate, I'll admit it.  I had to.  Even with a broken tooth.  :)  We went shopping a little too, then she took me to my dental appointment.  Turns out that tooth needed a root canal.  Yay! 

I got referred to another dentist place and got in there the next day.  Got my root canal!  Worst thing about it was laying on my back for 3 hours.  I was kinda high and grumpy for the rest of the day.  My mouth is just a tiny bit sore still and I can't bite down on that tooth.  Next step is getting a crown put on.  That dentistry wants me to get all my wisdom teeth out once I have my little baby.  How does that work if you breastfeed?

Tim and I got to sneak a little peak at our baby boy last Tuesday.  I requested an ultrasound and was given the green flag.  We got to see his little chubby face!  Wasn't a special 3- or 4D ultrasound, but it was definitely great to see.  We reconfirmed that he is indeed a boy!  The tech lady told me that he's little.  As in 5 pounds 15 ounces little, give or take 1 pound (wtf).  I told her those were never accurate, to which she was slightly offended. Oh well.  And as of last Tuesday, I was 95% effaced and 1 cm dilated.  We'll see at tomorrows appointment where I am now.  I know that more of that plug is coming out.  People have lied to me... sex does not help.

Sehara has been at Brandi's since Friday night.  I figure the booger should have as much fun as possible before her brother is born, because I am really going to have her involved with him.  Active roles in this household. 

We are trying to find a dresser to put in our room.  It's hard work.  Tim's grandparent's are getting it and they want to get good quality wood.  Tim agrees, but I honestly don't care as long as it holds these baby clothes. I'm seriously a firm believer that you should have a cheap set of furniture for your children's first 10 or so years, then get your good quality, expensive crap for life. We have baby things coming out of our ears, with no room to breathe.  That's frustrating.  It doesn't help that we can't find anything.  Well, Tim and I went to a thrift store yesterday and found a dresser we really like, we found two actually.  G-mama wants to take me to a few other places to keep looking, but I'm all like, "hey, let's just get this!".  I wouldn't say that though.  That's Tim's job.  And her driving gives me more anxiety than I would like to admit, so I don't really want to go with her (only for that reason).  People don't understand that I have horrible PTSD in the car, more specifically, in the passenger seat of the car.  I can't even tolerate my mother's driving.  I can't tolerate many people's driving.  Tim is a very cautious driver so I lucked out there.

 I am very pleased to announce that since my chiropractor visits I am virtually pain free.  Things get stiff after every walk but that's normal for me.  I can't imagine what my body will feel like once he's out of it.  Will I feel light, or loose and heavy still, with no baby as an excuse?  Questions, questions...

Oh, and I had this plan, right?  This plan about who would be in the hospital room when we delivered.  People that are important and who I thought would be an integral part of this baby's life, but I judged that based on the relationships I built when I first moved here.  Things have changed and I have become closer to other people, and I have really seen who cares about me and mine, just by observing who takes to Sehara and has patience with her and enjoys her as much as I do, and those aren't the people I originally picked.  How do I go about telling them that I don't want them there any more?  Harshly, I don't even know if I want my mom there, either.  I feel like she doesn't see this as important or a priority.  I know that if my other sisters were having problems and needed her, she'd be there and do anything in a heartbeat.  I don't see that for me.  But I'll call anyway and hope that she gets here.

Okay, since it has taken me a few days to write this post, I would like to add that I have been to see my OB/GYN this morning and nothing has changed. Nothing.  Minus the fact that I went from 95% effaced to 80%.  How does that happen?  I still can't find a pediatrician and I need to make another dentist appointment.  I feel "done".  I just want to lay down and die.  Seriously.

37 Weeks

I think I just want to lay down and die.  I am sooo ready to have this kid.  To be honest, I would like to have him this week sometime.  BUT, we all know babies come on their own time so I am not holding my breath on this one.
The chiropractor did a fabulous job on my butt, but I think 3 days is too long to go after an adjustment.  My hips and tailbone hurt so badly last night that I thought it may be back labor.  Plus, I had a stressful day yesterday, so much so that I also thought labor could have been induced just because of the amount of crying I did.  I mean, laying down to calm myself down was really hard too.  It was horrible.  Then I starting sweating so profusely that the collar on my t-shirt (they don't even have collars) starting becoming drenched. Whatever, I went to sleep after a few hours.  Tim was watching me like a hawk though.  He kept pushing the hair off my sweaty face and checking on me.  I couldn't even talk to him because of my pain (?), or panic?  I don't know.
Today, Tim volunteered for Homes for our Troops, helping our friends get their house in order so they could move in sooner. He laid some sod.  I went to pick him up, being completely useless which is why I didn't volunteer, and we got to hang out for a little while and tour the house. It made us late for church, but, really, it was so important and it's not like they have a volunteer day everyday.  Church will always be there, God more so.
Aunt Lisa is on her way up here from Florence Ya'll with Uncle John.  I'm pretty excited about it.
Turns out it takes me a pretty good amount of time to write one of these blogs here.  Their visit was fabulous and we had a blast with our friend Brandi and her husband Allen.  Stayed over there until 12 a.m. this morning.  So irresponsible with a 7 year old, but you gotta give every now and again.

37 Weeks 2 Days

Carol, friend from church, took me car seat shopping today!  The one we wanted at Target wasn't in stock but we got to looking at the strollers that come with a carseat and base and found an adorable polka dot one with a little lion on it.  The car seat was infant carrier style, ya know, since it needs to fit in the 'stang.  After that and Once Upon a Child we headed over to Red Robin's and ate lunch. YUM.  I think I started having contractions then, the fake kind that starts at the pelvic area instead of wrapping around your back.  (I read that online).  Then I took a huge dump.  That was nice. 
That photo, the look on my face: Tim farted.  He's not a farter, I am, so when HE does it I *die*.  They are nasty.  Granted, mine are nastier and stink worse but they are *mine*.

36 Weeks

Baby Shower cake

I had my baby shower on Saturday, the day I turned 36 billion weeks.  I wore a really pretty yellow dress, with some silver and pearly jewelry, courtesy of Aunt Dee.  It was farm themed and adorable!   Kate made the cake stuff and farm animal cake pops. I'll have to post a picture. Oh, and I got a ton of stuff!  We're overwhelmed with the amount we got, in a good way, of course.  Included in those items were TWO food processors.  One with a steamer.  We won't use them until this boy gets to be about 6 months or whatever is the recommended age for foods. 

36 Weeks

I had a doctors appointment on Tuesday.  I still have 60% of my cervix.  I guess that means that 40% has softened.  3 1/2 weeks to go!  I get an ultrasound this coming tuesday, only because I requested it. I was afraid to ask because I was afraid he would tell me no or that my insurance wouldn't cover it.  Yay!!

For my hips, which are getting worse and worse to the point of not being able to sleep in any position for more than an hour, I'm going to the chiropractor. The first day I popped sooo much and that night was excruciating!  So sore.  Today, I didn't pop as much but I am also not as sore.  Let us hope I don't get too sore!

34 & 35 Weeks!

34  ish weeks

35 Weeks 1 Day

Between going back and forth from Ohio to Kentucky every other week, I'm pretty exhausted.  I don't think that's the reason I'm exhausted, it's clearly the pregnancy.  My hips literally feel like they are going to fall apart and off of me, then my tailbone is going to drop down to the floor with them.  I have been *making* Tim give me back and hip rubs every night like no ones business.  He rubbed all up and down my spine last night and said "no wonder you're in so much pain, your spine is gone!!".   He was talking about my lower back where the spine dips in to compensate for the belly.  I don't usually have a curvy back so it's kind of a double-edged sword.  He likes a curvy back!  It didn't give me a bigger butt though!  Bummer. I look swollen now.  Today, I literally feel like a bowel movement.  If feces could feel a certain way as it is shoved through the tracts, this must be what it feels like.  No control over anything, you go where you have to and feel what you feel.  Physical activity makes me cringe the next day but I keep doing it because I know that it's so much better in the long run.  Ha!  Last night we went on our usual walk and I kept getting mad at mr. husband and storming away from him.  He'd come after me and say "babe, don't!  You're going to get really tired and stuck.  Do you even know where you're going?".  Good point, husband.  He doesn't usually give me attention when I whine so it was sweet.  Not that I'm going to keep doing it.   I've also decided that I'm just a really bad pregnant person.  I'm not me when I'm in this state.  Too bad!  I still have a few children to go.  We may wait another year before that though.  Oh, and it's quite official: not many of my clothes currently fit.  Maybe 3 long shirts left, and 2 pair of short!  Ummm, dilemma!   I have this bump coming up near my belly button.  Could it be a hernia?!  What could it be?

Burn Baby Burn

This past Saturday, whilst in Louisville/LaGrange area, my little family accompanied my side of the tree to a pool party.  It was put on my a friend of my dad's.  They ride dirtbikes together.  That's a manly thing to do.  I guess.

Anyway, the pool was a pretty big above ground 4-foot deep pool.  You know the kind...you can't sit on the rail because it will bend.  It was so nice having access to an outdoor pool.  We all got there and jumped right in.  Well, I was pushed in.  I opened my eyes under water and experienced a horrible burning sensation.  The water didn't taste good, either.  I only stayed in for a few more minutes, I got one of "those feelings", and exited with my sister.  Everyone else stayed in.  *Evil laugh*  Not really.

The next issue: my wee little 13 yr old brother got out and very quietly told my sister and I (and he'll kill me for this if he ever reads it) that his penis hurt.   ERRMM  Oh dear.  Oh-KAY, try not to show how awkward that was.  I went right into the billion question mode: "Does it burn, does it sting, is it red, is it swollen, did you pee, did it hurt"  blah blah.  I encouraged him to tell the parents, that it could be a UTI, then realized it's probably a chemical burn (didn't realize this until later on that day).  Poor boy.  He was so embarrassed about it.

Next event:  my daughter and niece both got out with burning eyes.  Okey dokie.  Don't open your eyes under the water.  An hour or two later I made her get out.  Her eyes and all around were so red, like her cheek bones had been sunburned.

Final: My husband's eyes also looked like they had been sunburned.

Sunday morning!  Both Sehara's eyes and Lexi's eyes were bruised.  BRUISED!  Like, purple (black eyes) and they hurt to the touch.  So was Tim's.  Brother's manhood was feeling A-OK.  He could walk again.  It was still red though.  Here's the kicker:  both Sehara and Tim had HUGE rashes.  Tim's were in his inner thighs (and are still there) where they rub together.  He's so sensitive there because of that.  Sehara's was where (and still is) her bathing suit rubbed her skin.  It's halter top style, so around the back of her neck down to her armpits, like so:

When I got there and I played in the pool and realized it was super chlorinated, I thought, you know I'd rather there be too many chemicals in here to keep it safe than to swim in dirty water.  I'm not so sure now.  I don't like my loved ones having these marks on their bodies.  Painful marks, mind you.  The only good thing about it was it stopped the peeling on my brother's arm (probably because it ate a layer of his skin).  I am so thankful that I got out of that pool after a few minutes.  I don't even want to imagine what it could have done to my unborn.

33 Weeks and Boredom

I am so bored! I really don't know what to write about.  I was thinking about ranting on how people expect me to be the one to visit them all the time, but, I don't know.  Maybe I will a little.  I'm in Buckner right now.  I don't even feel like announcing it because I know family members are going to jump down my throat and ask why I didn't go and see them and friends too.  Ugh, I hate that!  "You were down here and you didn't come see me", really??  Pretty sure I was down here and YOU didn't come see me (granted, if I told whomever I was coming down). Oh, and that goes for when we're home (in Ohio) too!! Can you believe that?  "Why don't you come over anymore?" blah blah.  Um, maybe because I'm 8 months pregnant and I don't feel like doing anything, much less go to your stinky house!!

33 Weeks!

Yup, so here I am enjoying my "vacation", sitting in my parent's living room watching E! news and texting back and forth with my brother.  He's going to college this fall!  Ohio Valley University.  Sehara is playing outside on the fort by herself and my other brother is sitting on the other couch watching this girl stuff with me.  AND this little boy is totally in my ribs right now, making it impossible for me to lean forward and OH I can't even bend over to pick something up without getting sucker punched! I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it though!   I can't wait to meet him!
This picture was taken at my 33 Week mark!  I can't believe my baby is 33 weeks young (and it doesn't even count)!  It was at the church's VBS finale party!  Look at my belly button.  How cute.  And that darling little girl with crack cotton candy in her hand. I wonder if there is a substitute for cotton candy that doesn't involve sugar.  This is the moment when someone says "Yeah, it's called an apple".  <- I'd be one of THOSE people.  I'm too fat to care right now.  They only live once and I'm tired of being a dictator to her.
My linea nigra is starting to appear!  That's the pregnant brown line thing.  When I had it with Sehara it was completely zig-zagged and distorted because my skin tore right up with all those stretch marks.  This time, it's a smooth and straight little line.  Speaking of stretch marks, I have not gotten any new ones, yet!  This makes Jenni oh so happy.
I think I am going to get back to washing all of my brother's clothes now! 

31 & 32 Week Baby Bump

Uh, so I know that I'm almost 33 weeks.  Yeah.
I took a "vacation" and went to my parent's house while Sehara was off to a week long Christian Camp.  It was so nice!  Tim got a chance to work with my Dad at one of his dream jobs: construction.  It snapped us out of our little depression.  But now we are back in Ohio and I can feel it creeping back.  Did we make the wrong choice?  I have this horrible feeling that we'll still live with his family when the baby comes.  It's called reality and it sucks.
So, I have a pregnancy symptom for you!!  My hips hurt.  Cool, huh?   They feel like they are splitting and they are sore.  It's just awkward and it makes me waddle.  I'm a penguin now.  Oh, and I haven't been able to see my vagina in so long that I'm starting to wonder if I still have one.  Luckily, Tim reminds me every now and again that it is still there.  I also am probably 2-3 weeks away from not being able to see my feet at all.
Baby boy is heads down, rump up!  Such a relief for me.  I was kind of worried about it (though, I'm not sure why).  He doesn't seem to be able to figure out whether he likes the canal better or my hip bone (putting more pressure on my hips).  He's heads down so I'll take it!

31 Weeks

32 Weeks 2 Days

I'm starting to get big, and fast.  Really fast!  Most of my underwear don't fit anymore and I just need MY clothes back.  I kept all of them from when I weighed 50 lbs more pre-pregnancy.  Now, I haven't gained that much during these 8 months but there's a better chance that they will fit me better than what I have.

30 Weeks

This is supposed to be the final trek of pregnancy; the last ten weeks that fly by.  I hope they do.  These are also supposed to be the weeks that I start feeling like ultimate crap.  <---   I'm looking forward to that.  We have a membership to the YMCA and I'm using it as much as I can.  I don't want those symptoms that come b/c pregnant women are so sedentary.  Sehara loves the swimming part, too, and I guess I enjoy them.  It's hard to go in the pool and not be able to dive or see how long I can hold my breath and chill at the bottom of the pool.  I feel like I'll drown my baby if I do that. 

30 Weeks

My lovely bathing suit no longer fits me.  Well, I am sure I can get it over my belly and my boobs, but the fit is so tight and the girls spill out of the side (not a pretty sight).  Of course, this wouldn't be an issue if we had our own place, with our stuff in it.  Since Tim still hasn't found a job, we're still at his grandparent's and our crap is still in storage.  That's where all my fat-girl clothes reside.  Ya know, the ones that I could fit into right now...  That's also where all of my extra bathing suits are, the fat-girl ones.  We had to improvise, because we can't afford Motherhood Maternity's beautiful suits and I refuse to wear the skirted ones that Wally World sells.  REFUSE.  That's why I'm in a nice stretchy microfiber shirt with my bikini bottoms.  Good news is that the shirt will be great for post-baby workouts.

I have been having that pelvic bone pain for a bit now and decided it was time to consult with my OB/GYN about it.  I was right about it being the symphysis, but what I didn't know is that it means I'm softening.  I bet Tim wished that meant my temper, but nope.  I'm happy that my body is preparing so well for delivery with these Braxton-Hicks and the softening.  I love that word "softening", sounds so feminine.  Since I have been working out my back pain has gone away.  :)  I'm so smart.  I put my degree to use.  I knew it!   Now, I wish I could find the motivation to look for a chiropractor for my tail bone.  My emotions are on that everlasting roller-coaster.  I hit a low the other day, cussing everyone out around me (had to do some serious apologizing) and ended it by crying my eyes out trying to explain to Tim what it was I was feeling.  Glad that's over...until next week.

Oh, and I have realized that I am around the most unorganized people, ever.  My family (in KY) isn't OCD daily-planner material, but hot dang, at least we over share so much that we always know what's going down when.  My anxiety (only on my "flare" days) doesn't allow me to be able to go with the flow, so I need to have a set plan in my head.  Also, I don't appreciate going shopping with family just to be a babysitter.  That's ish is for the birds and I won't be doing that anymore.  I would rather stare at a wall for 24 hours than go with you just so you can have a babysitter.  Here's an idea: stop having kids so you can stop worrying about who's going to watch them.  That crap is lame. Stop.  If you can't handle your child, then don't have anymore, for the sake of your family's sanity.

Nuff ranting.  I really want some tea right now.  I bought a bottle of Brisk yesterday and it was atrocious. Like, gag material.  Ew.  I might revisit that at the end if labor doesn't move along.  I started washing all my baby clothes and it hit me like a tons of bricks!  I'm having a baby!!  Woot!! :) Peace out!