Bad Driving

I have written a good bunch of blogs in my head and I always forget them or I put them on the back burner until I have a big enough opinion about them. But driving is always a hot topic for me.

Since every time I go out I have to deal with horrible drivers, I have to start wondering if *I'm* the bad driver. I'll admit that there are times when I'm not paying attention or I'm distracted. I have even checked my phone from time to time.

For the most part, I really strive to be a defensive driver. I don't go too fast or too slow. I always watch where I am and how many cars are around me. Who is tailing me, and if I'm three seconds behind the car in front. I always know for sure that the car behind me is a half a second. They are always too close.

This past Wednesday, I pulled out of the mcfatdonald's driveway (I got myself a half cut tea in case you're wondering) onto a four lane road, two lanes going my way, two lanes going the opposite and a turning lane in the middle. Hold on, is that technically a five lane road? Whatever.

I don't get that far and I'm slamming hard on my brakes. There is just a general commotion going on. This huge thing is cutting in front of me, turning into the lanes going opposite me. I was at a complete stop knowing for sure that I was about to get hit (even though I would be doing the hitting) and I realized it was a tow truck. How ironic. This truck was maybe a foot away from my front bumper.

I'm sitting there trying to figure out if I had just done something wrong, if it would have been my fault. Like, golly, I must be a horrible driver if I'm having these experiences every single time I go out. Then I look around. The tow truck driver is shaking his head, he looks so angry. The car behind me also had to stop (he should have been following that three second rule), and the opposing traffic is at a stop too.

I mean, this is all happening so fast. I realize this guy almost caused a pile up, I honk my horn, angrily. I had my babies in the car. I'm quietly pissed. I said something out loud about an idiot, then realized Carson would probably repeat anything I said.

I drove on. I went to the library with my babies and thought about how sucky people are. That guy must have been sitting there for so long and got fed up and just went. But how would he have felt if the first car that slammed in to him had a 2-month-old and a 1-year-old (plus some change) inside and something happened to them. 

I wish I had been able to catch the company logo on the tow truck. I hope one of the people around me did.

Anger

It doesn't take a lot to get angry these days. I find myself getting mad every time I get behind the wheel, getting dressed, going shopping, playing with my kids. I really have to fight it so I don't take it out on other people. It's a constant battle and I hate it. I don't like the way it makes me feel and I don't like that I spend so much time working through it so it goes away.
Anger drains my energy. It drains my energy everyday.  I hate being mad at my kids for being kids, at my husband for being himself and at myself for being so horrible all the time.
I just don't know what to do!

Grumpy Carson

Some things about Carson that I want to write down, uh, metaphorically.Whatever.

He currently has some drainage/sinus stuff that caused an ear infection. I think that makes ear infection number 2. When we got back from the hospital, poor kiddo was "sick".  I use that term very loosely, because I don't consider sick really sick unless it's contagious and he isn't. Thank you, Jesus.

So he's pretty grumpy and on medicine. What I mean to say, is that he is acting almost unbearable. I can't even handle him right now.  Folks, that's the first time ever. He's also hit the toddler phase where EVERYTHING hurts his feelings. Everything. I could hand him a cookie and he'd throw his body to the floor, cry his heart out then stand up, take the cookie, say "thank you" and proceed to eat it like nothing ever happened.

Shoot me in my face please.

Now he's all huge and looks like a kid and he's heavy.  I've almost dropped him twice since I've been back.

This whole "finding a new routine" thing is almost impossible with his feelings and his ear. We're exhausted and it's really because of him. I just wish he would get better so we can get over the hard part.

He is all about his little sister.  He wants to kiss her and lay his head on her and hug her all the time. He wants to pat her and all that business.  It's nice until he presses too hard on her face or squeezes her.

They cry off each other during night time. She'll cry and and it will wake him up.  Vice-versa. 

He also looks like a hot mess. He needs a hair cut, Tim wants him to get a faded buzz to match him and so that's what he'll get.  Now I just have to take him.

Looks are deceiving

Twins...

I keep going between wanting someone to take him and go somewhere to knowing that's one reason he's so clingy right now. We have left him too much this past month, he's not used to it and neither am I. It would be nice to have some break though.  I don't know what I'm going to do when Tim goes back to work next week, because really, he's been taking care of him most of the time.

I Have Another Pimple

I do. It's right under my cheekbone and it isn't pretty.

I am so upset about it. How dare it have the audacity to pop up when my makeup is over 150 miles away; how dare it!

Since it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I named it Priscilla.

I don't have the best of skin, nor do I have horrible skin. It's speckled and rough and doesn't absorb anything.  At least I don't have arm acne or eczema or psoriasis so I don't suppose I can complain too terribly much.

But then again, there is this HUGE spot residing on my face, greeting people before I even have the chance.

Priscilla is such a skank.

Tests

Without saying much (and I know that's annoying), we have to go to a specialist with this pregnancy. Hopefully it will be a one time thing. We'll see!

We were supposed to find out the sex of this baby on July 3rd, but that has now been postponed.

Frustration level is a little high, just for preparations sake.

We had a nice week down in Kentucky, for a mini vacation. The daughter stayed a week and a half longer than the baby and I. She needed quality time with her grandparents. She rarely gets any.

So now we wait.

Here it Goes, Again...

If you aren't used to my angry blog posts, then you may not want to read this. Actually, if you have read one of them, you may  not want to read this...

I've tried to take a step back from all these different situations and look at them objectively, but that's bull crap. You can't do that.

I used to curse, a lot. Then I became mormon and stopped, except for the occasional slip up. When I stopped being mormon, I barely cursed at all.  There was no need for it, I had learned my lesson and I grew up. I am insinuating that cursing comes with immaturity, yes. This is going somewhere, trust me.  When I met Tim I knew he was a keeper by a lot of different things, one of them being his lack of using profanity.  I admired that.  Unfortunately, I do have a really bad habit of letting them loose when I am so livid that I just can't take it anymore.  That's lack of self control.

It takes a lot to control what comes out of your mouth when you're beyond mad, and not just those words, also things that may be hurtful...  I still do curse when I get to that point, but not even close to what it was even a year ago. I JUST GET SO MAD.  I'll own up to it.

In my mind, that doesn't justify making it okay to curse in front of my children, ever.  I used to, but I'm a better person now.

Anyway, I got called the big "B" word in front of my husband, Sehara, and Carson on Sunday.  It was definitely not called for and that girl was completely wrong.  Look, I own up to my crap and I'll apologize when I know I'm wrong, but I wasn't wrong in this situation.  I was trying to teach Sehara shopping cart etiquette (I made that up) and I was telling her to say "excuse me" when we got in the way or needed to go around someone.

Ugh. I had just put Carson back in the cart in his carseat, Tim had just gotten off work, and Sehara had one hand on the side (we are still on that phase...) and we were rounding the corner. This girl about my age with a guy around the same age clearly sees us and almost runs into us.  She had the "You move out of my way" tattitude. I said the "excuse me" and "oh, I'm sorry" and she gives me the dirtiest look, ever.  Okay.  So I said "Wow, thanks for being rude". 

"You're the rude one, B___"

Uh-uh.  I whipped around and yelled at her that "I was the one that said I was sorry" and she kept walking. Chicken.  Look, I don't go out looking for fights, but I won't stand for that ish.  That pissed me off soooo badly.  What a skank.  I tried to play it off like she probably had a bad day because she was looking raunchy before we almost collided.

The biggest problem that I had with it was she did it in front of Sehara and Sehara caught it and asked me if I had heard "that girl call you the b word, I can't believe she did that" all night long.

I firmly believe that you should move out of the way for the elderly, for handicapped people (fat people don't count) and people who are pregnant and/or have babies with them.  I do it and I expect that other people should do it, too.  I'm sick of inconsiderate people.  I've absolutely had enough.

Fun Random One Liners part 1

I like that whenever I'm packing a few extra pounds, people always say to me, "You're so confident!". Which, I am...

I am so conceited.  I know I'm pretty, or, cute.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm the Beholder, Hooker.

My name is Jenni, not Jenn-AY.  Thank you, Forrest Gump.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I threw a paper ball at the person standing at pulpit. WHAT WOULD HE DO?

There are times that I don't really have one clear thought pattern.  During those times I like to go on Pinterest and "like" whatever I like.  Then, I go back and look at them...you should try it. Insight...

Not only do I think I'm hilarious, I kinda know it.
Actually, the more I read my stuff, the more I laugh!!

WA BAM


Facebook favorites:

No, not creepy at all when you wake at negative 4 a.m. and find your baby staring at you with a huge smile. How am I coherent enough to write this?

We call him Wilbur.

Carson is really struggling to go back to sleep. I think he needs my help! I think he needs for me to lay down with him and shut my eyes, too!!

I don't know why Tim acts surprised everytime he catches me picking my nose... I don't say anything to him.

Carson doesn't like his toes to be popped. Who doesn't like having their toes popped?! This is crazy to me. Come to think of it, Sehara and Tim don't like it either..

Burn Baby Burn

This past Saturday, whilst in Louisville/LaGrange area, my little family accompanied my side of the tree to a pool party.  It was put on my a friend of my dad's.  They ride dirtbikes together.  That's a manly thing to do.  I guess.

Anyway, the pool was a pretty big above ground 4-foot deep pool.  You know the kind...you can't sit on the rail because it will bend.  It was so nice having access to an outdoor pool.  We all got there and jumped right in.  Well, I was pushed in.  I opened my eyes under water and experienced a horrible burning sensation.  The water didn't taste good, either.  I only stayed in for a few more minutes, I got one of "those feelings", and exited with my sister.  Everyone else stayed in.  *Evil laugh*  Not really.

The next issue: my wee little 13 yr old brother got out and very quietly told my sister and I (and he'll kill me for this if he ever reads it) that his penis hurt.   ERRMM  Oh dear.  Oh-KAY, try not to show how awkward that was.  I went right into the billion question mode: "Does it burn, does it sting, is it red, is it swollen, did you pee, did it hurt"  blah blah.  I encouraged him to tell the parents, that it could be a UTI, then realized it's probably a chemical burn (didn't realize this until later on that day).  Poor boy.  He was so embarrassed about it.

Next event:  my daughter and niece both got out with burning eyes.  Okey dokie.  Don't open your eyes under the water.  An hour or two later I made her get out.  Her eyes and all around were so red, like her cheek bones had been sunburned.

Final: My husband's eyes also looked like they had been sunburned.

Sunday morning!  Both Sehara's eyes and Lexi's eyes were bruised.  BRUISED!  Like, purple (black eyes) and they hurt to the touch.  So was Tim's.  Brother's manhood was feeling A-OK.  He could walk again.  It was still red though.  Here's the kicker:  both Sehara and Tim had HUGE rashes.  Tim's were in his inner thighs (and are still there) where they rub together.  He's so sensitive there because of that.  Sehara's was where (and still is) her bathing suit rubbed her skin.  It's halter top style, so around the back of her neck down to her armpits, like so:

When I got there and I played in the pool and realized it was super chlorinated, I thought, you know I'd rather there be too many chemicals in here to keep it safe than to swim in dirty water.  I'm not so sure now.  I don't like my loved ones having these marks on their bodies.  Painful marks, mind you.  The only good thing about it was it stopped the peeling on my brother's arm (probably because it ate a layer of his skin).  I am so thankful that I got out of that pool after a few minutes.  I don't even want to imagine what it could have done to my unborn.