5 minutes in my head

Remember how I wrote about keeping a notepad with me at all times? It's overrated. Nobody has time for that.

I bet whoever read that blog knew right away I wouldn't keep one on me. *I* tried, tried really hard to remember to take a pad of paper upstairs and keep it on the dresser. Then that got stressful and I'm not going to walk all the way downstairs when I've already laid down in my sweet bliss of cooled down stiff but super smooth sheets. So, I started writing little notes on my phone. Well, the light doesn't dim enough and it hurts my eyes. I also watched something (when I was so bored that I had a 5+ hour long t.v. ritual)  on "The Doctors" or "Dr. Oz" about melatonin secretion and how the blue lights from electronics prohibit that chemical reaction and that's why you should buy the amber lens glasses. So you can go to sleep and be rested. Plus, I'd get sidetracked and drool over cool shirts and elastics on etsy. Life.

All that to say I had the most beautiful snippet of a facebook status update in my head and then I was going to turn it into a blog post because it was too long and I thought about whipping out my phone at the splash pad and writing it and posting it but the phone screen light doesn't get bright enough in the sunlight and I didn't want to squint (and not watch the kids, of course) for 5 minutes. I already have this tan line on my forehead because I squint so much and have weird skin above my nose & between my eyes. I don't know if it's extra skin or just REALLY thick, but it's plain annoying. Reminds me of a butt crack. It's caused me to have a permanent crease too. Sometimes I point out that I have a scar on my forehead and everyone assumes I'm talking about my crease. Well, I'm not. I have a scar and it isn't in that tan line. It's further up. When did this paragraph get so serious???


So this is where I'm left, opening a new post hoping that I'd remember if I started typing, but I just don't. What a bummer.


XOXO- Butt Face

About Nothing

I don't have much to really say, but I'm going to say something anyway. Maybe it'll get the writing juices flowing.

I'm just sitting around thinking about all the crafting activities I want to do. I'm eagerly pinning on pinterest. It's so much fun to see all the readily accessible crafts just waiting for me. I wonder if I'll ever get to any of them. I have so many things I want to do, and there isn't usually an opportunity to do them.

But then that can't really be true, because I've learned to do lots of things lately and I've done them, so who am I kidding... There's time! I just have to get crafting and stop procrastinating.

I've been thinking lately about our Anniversary coming up. I hope we get the weekend to ourselves. I don't just want Friday night alone. I can't believe Tim didn't put in a request for Friday, too. We could have had Friday, Saturday, and a little bit of Sunday. Hm. It's okay, I guess.

Our anniversary is Valentine's Day. This is our 3rd one. It seems like we've been married 1082348723 years though.

Folino Photography

 Happy Valentine's Day (almost!) Don't you just want to kiss those little lips!!!! And pick her up and hold her and hug her?

Not Such A Good Memory

I've had trouble sleeping lately. My mind is filled with all these memories and I keep replaying them over and over again.
Most definitely, they are brought on by my kids. I observe their growth all day and I bask in the utmost fulfillment of every emotion they give me. They range in obsession, love, anger, joy, hurt, disappointment, pride. All those things, plus. They certainly don't know how to give  me nothing. In Tim, too. Even on our worst days, he's the bees knees. The peanut to my butter. I see all this and wonder many things. I wonder how parents (mother's especially) can abandon their kids.
One of my memories starts with my (bio) dad sitting on his stool at the counter in the kitchen. The part of the counter that doesn't really belong to the kitchen, it's more for the phone and calendar. I remember his startling blue eyes looking worried and staring at the calendar. I think he was smoking. I can't remember that part. I know he and my (bio) mom had court that morning. I had been home from school for a little while when they got back. I got back from school and no one was home, a really eerie feeling. She disappeared somewhere, frantic with the phone. It's all really a blur.
He said that everything was fine. I've always been a worrier, or felt guilty about anything. I can remember knowing how much money my dad brought home on paydays and I always knew how much they spent and around about what they had left, and that stress got bad after a few days. I always waited for it.
Between then and not much longer later, these cars pulled in the driveway, parked there and in the cul de sac, some of them police cars. We lived on RedRock Court. I saw our social worker's face, as I got in the back of her car. I'm pretty sure her name was Linda. All of us were taken to Home of the Innocents. We were checked in on the first day they opened.

Just writing this down has gotten it out of my head. I waited a good week before I remembered, and I have debated whether to post any of this. BUT, I'm just going to go ahead and do it. Besides, I feel so relieved now. It's down and I can look at it when I want.

Bad Driving

I have written a good bunch of blogs in my head and I always forget them or I put them on the back burner until I have a big enough opinion about them. But driving is always a hot topic for me.

Since every time I go out I have to deal with horrible drivers, I have to start wondering if *I'm* the bad driver. I'll admit that there are times when I'm not paying attention or I'm distracted. I have even checked my phone from time to time.

For the most part, I really strive to be a defensive driver. I don't go too fast or too slow. I always watch where I am and how many cars are around me. Who is tailing me, and if I'm three seconds behind the car in front. I always know for sure that the car behind me is a half a second. They are always too close.

This past Wednesday, I pulled out of the mcfatdonald's driveway (I got myself a half cut tea in case you're wondering) onto a four lane road, two lanes going my way, two lanes going the opposite and a turning lane in the middle. Hold on, is that technically a five lane road? Whatever.

I don't get that far and I'm slamming hard on my brakes. There is just a general commotion going on. This huge thing is cutting in front of me, turning into the lanes going opposite me. I was at a complete stop knowing for sure that I was about to get hit (even though I would be doing the hitting) and I realized it was a tow truck. How ironic. This truck was maybe a foot away from my front bumper.

I'm sitting there trying to figure out if I had just done something wrong, if it would have been my fault. Like, golly, I must be a horrible driver if I'm having these experiences every single time I go out. Then I look around. The tow truck driver is shaking his head, he looks so angry. The car behind me also had to stop (he should have been following that three second rule), and the opposing traffic is at a stop too.

I mean, this is all happening so fast. I realize this guy almost caused a pile up, I honk my horn, angrily. I had my babies in the car. I'm quietly pissed. I said something out loud about an idiot, then realized Carson would probably repeat anything I said.

I drove on. I went to the library with my babies and thought about how sucky people are. That guy must have been sitting there for so long and got fed up and just went. But how would he have felt if the first car that slammed in to him had a 2-month-old and a 1-year-old (plus some change) inside and something happened to them. 

I wish I had been able to catch the company logo on the tow truck. I hope one of the people around me did.

Non Announcement

I have a few general rules in life but I'm only going to talk about one in this blog post.

Don't announce your pregnancy until you're in the safe zone.  I've always said it and I think I will continue to.

I understand my opinion may be different than yours and you may have announced it as soon as you found out and that's fine...for you. Everybody is different. Different strokes, folks.

It is excruciating when I have been pregnant to wait the whole 40 weeks, but let me tell you, I don't want to wait for your whole 40 weeks.

Heck, some of my best friends have done this to me. Now, I don't get upset or anything and I'm always thrilled beyond measure and I always will be, it's just my rule.

I have only squeaked about my pregnancy early to two people. And that was the last one. And it was because I was shocked.

But really, it boils down to this for me: the only thing more frightening than announcing a pregnancy, would be having to announce a miscarriage.

It would be so hard. I don't wish that on anyone. So, think about that.

About Juicing

You know, I don't really like juice. I think the concept is fine and all that, but I don't enjoy drinking juice.

I know this may come to you as a very random thought, but, it's really not.

I feel fat. I feel so fat, and I can't work up the motivation to go run in the snow with my newborn to lose the weight. Mind you, it's only about 10 lbs for now that I want to lose. I don't have a breast pump to go to a gym and I don't have the time to figure something else out (or the energy).

I tried doing some workout videos, I ended up getting in Carson's way. By the time he went down for a nap, Madeline woke up. When I got her settled and happy, Carson woke up again. It happens everyday. Really.

Those are my excuses and I'm sticking to them.

But, I am going to "juice". I don't want to strictly juice, I want to eat real food too AND I don't want my body to "detox" because of the breastfeeding. If I strictly juice, I'm pretty sure I'll go through a detox. It's not really as scary as it sounds.

I'm only writing this because I want to be held accountable. I usually don't write or talk about it in case I screw up.

I'm not starting yet, I'm going to let my taste buds get used to them. Tim and I tried buying all the organic fruits and vegetables and literally juicing them and it didn't work. It was too much work. We don't have a nice enough blender to put them in either. So, I'm buying the pre-made organic ones that have a bit more sodium than I like but I'm drinking them anyway. Organic does matter.

Don't judge me.

Dollhouse

When I was a little girl, there were a few things I wanted. I wanted new things, instead of hand-me-downs and I wanted a dollhouse. The new things I wanted weren't specific, I just wanted some new things instead of always having used things. I mean, clothes were high on that list, but you know, nothing too specific.  As a parent, I love used clothes for my kids! As long as they look nice and are stain-free, mine weren't.

The dollhouse didn't have to be new, heck, it didn't even have to be in great condition. I just always wanted one. I'd like to imagine that if I had one I would have treated it very nicely and taken great care of it. I may not have even played with it for fear of breaking it. Who knows...I never got one.

halfway assembled dollhouse

Sehara got one for Christmas this year. It was our big gift to her, quite literally. It's what she really wanted. Her asking for one really took me back to my childhood. Every time I see a dollhouse I yearn for it and I figured she may as well have one.

After the Christmas rush and her Uncle Dan helped her set it up, I realized that I gave in to her because it was something I never had. I mean, I knew it when we bought it but I pushed it down because every little girl needs a dollhouse. Right? I'm not sure I made the right choice.  It's almost as tall as she is and she treats it well. All her Barbie things are set up nicely around it.

But the rest of her room is trashed like she doesn't care about any of it.  It's a daily struggle to get her to straighten things up, treat her clothes like they should be treated, and just pick other things up. It sucks.

I just think about all the things I wanted as a kid and Sehara has them and doesn't even care.

It breaks my heart.

On The Things I've Neglected

I have failed miserably at remembering that I have allotted every Tuesday this year as a "no sweets day".  I would be 100% successful at my goal if I had only remembered each Tuesday.  I suppose Tuesday was a bad day to do it and I guess if I started now I would be able to get in 40 days plus of no sweets. It's hard though...because I included artificially sweetened things too, like Diet Coke, but then sweet tea has sugar and orange juice and this list goes on! So, basically, all I can drink is water and while I like water, it's boring. I need a little pizazz to my cup!

I forgot to keep practicing to crochet, so now I have completely forgotten how to. I think I want to take a class, somewhere... I know the library here has a knitting class but that won't do. It looks complicated.
I think some ladies at church should start one up!

I bought some used picture frames this summer to make really cool DIY things with, and didn't do anything more than sand them down. They are in a box slowly decaying away. Actually,  I asked Tim to spray paint them a few months ago because I thought being pregnant, I'm not supposed to do it but I think I can.  Is that an old rule or still current? It's not his fault, I re-asked him again on Saturday if he could do it Sunday and he said he couldn't because his day was full.

I lost my mini clothes pins that I now need for a quiet bag because my children are very loud and active at church. I better find them!

I put off weaning Carson from the bottle to a sippy cup. I just can't do it. Really, I can and I will. I started today... I have only given him one bottle and I put a few away.  I have a few to wash before I can pack them up.  My plan is to put him on those silicone cups, the soft ones... and the sippy cups with straws. I hate the straws, but he likes them so whatever to that.

Lastly, I have seriously neglected Tim.  I haven't been giving him as much attention as he needs (and the same to him, lol). He also needs "alone time", something he has always gotten because I've made week long trips to Kentucky with the kids when he couldn't go.  He was able to basically do what he wanted without getting pulled in different directions. He won't get that nearly as often anymore so he'll have to deal.

Other than all this nonsense, I have gotten a lot done! Kuddos to me, and energy to me to get this other business taken care of.

Fun Random One Liners part 1

I like that whenever I'm packing a few extra pounds, people always say to me, "You're so confident!". Which, I am...

I am so conceited.  I know I'm pretty, or, cute.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm the Beholder, Hooker.

My name is Jenni, not Jenn-AY.  Thank you, Forrest Gump.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I threw a paper ball at the person standing at pulpit. WHAT WOULD HE DO?

There are times that I don't really have one clear thought pattern.  During those times I like to go on Pinterest and "like" whatever I like.  Then, I go back and look at them...you should try it. Insight...

Not only do I think I'm hilarious, I kinda know it.
Actually, the more I read my stuff, the more I laugh!!

WA BAM


Facebook favorites:

No, not creepy at all when you wake at negative 4 a.m. and find your baby staring at you with a huge smile. How am I coherent enough to write this?

We call him Wilbur.

Carson is really struggling to go back to sleep. I think he needs my help! I think he needs for me to lay down with him and shut my eyes, too!!

I don't know why Tim acts surprised everytime he catches me picking my nose... I don't say anything to him.

Carson doesn't like his toes to be popped. Who doesn't like having their toes popped?! This is crazy to me. Come to think of it, Sehara and Tim don't like it either..

Simply Ten Good Things

My friend Connie wrote about ten simply simple good things here and it's inspired me to be grateful and write about 10 things that I am thankful for. I'm not gonna make it all fancy.  Just write about what makes me feel gratitude.
1.)  My family.  Not just my husband and two wonderful children, but my mom and grandparents and everyone that helps us and supports us.

2.) My crazy friends that keep me crazy.  They know who they are.

3.) Grilled cheese sandwiches.

4.) Chili.  Never underestimate the power of chili. Seriously.

5.) Time away from the house.

6.) Doing something different; deviating from the plan.  Changing things up, moving furniture, driving on a random back-road (Tim driving, me looking at the trees). 

7.) Music that motivates me to move.

8.) Baby farts.

9.) Diet Dr. Pepper and the caffeine-free kind.

10.) Breastfeeding.  I was extremely worried that something would go wrong, but we're both doing great with it.  Yeah, it gets hard being the only one who can feed him but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Throwback

I am so full of random thoughts and sometimes they are pretty fantabulous, so I am going to write (some of) them down! Here's for my first.
Mountain Dew Throwback?! I don't understand!
A month ago or so, I picked up a Mountain Dew at Walmart (just because I fell into the "trap" and it was convenient) while I was checking out and I drank it as usual. BUT, it just so happens that during that night my friend Christina and I took way silly pictures and my Mountain Dew was part of one!
I was looking through the pics trying to weed out the ugly ones and I noticed that my Mountain Dew had Throwback on it...
If it was A Mountain Dew Throwback(and not just an advertisement) that's cool because I did not taste any difference. And the only reason I even care is because some amigos at work were saying that it tasted like poo. Which would not stop me from trying it anyway, but, yeah. This is a random thought so I don't really have to go all philosophical. <3