2nd Street Market

Tim and I headed over to the 2nd Street Market in Dayton to drop off some auction items for the Dayton LLL at Green Baby.

I had never been before, and I just can't believe how much I have missed out on.

I found a tie clip(?) for Tim for his birthday (in December). :)

2 Weeks

 Our parent's are on their 30th Wedding Anniversary honeymoon!

I have written before about how much I adore my siblings, or at least I think I have. I've been given the opportunity to house-sit and "watch" them for about 2 weeks.

I definitely use that term loosely because they can be pretty self sufficient. I'm more of just an authority/accountability person. I make sure they don't break the rules & stay alive. Yup.

 

So we've been going to friend's houses, going to parks, exploring local businesses, grocery shopping, cleaning, and cooking a lot. Watching movies, playing basketball, swimming; all the fun things you do on a budget. Driving to Hobbly Lobby to craft special flower halo headbands that she (marybeth) and her friends are going to model for my shop.

The siblings have been so helpful. It's not so hard coming here and helping keep them in line, but it is difficult uprooting 3 children from their routine and putting them in a different environment for 2 weeks, just to go back... They have watched my kids while I have napped (happened once), watched some here and there so I could take another sibling to a friend's house, watched them in the car so I could run in somewhere, etc. 

Daniel fixed the headlights on my van (apparently I have to turn the lights off before I turn the car off or it won't cooperate, even then you have to do a series of knob turning and then this girl has to take a nap because it's just too much).

Michael didn't complain when I put a playpen in his room for Carson to take his naps and sleep at night or when I sent Sehara to bed early and she got scared and made a makeshift bed on his floor.  

Marybeth wrangles the kids together pretty quickly and Tyler has been my right hand man, ready to go at a moments notice. He calculates the grocery bill and tracks things like that. 

They have all pitched in to help me help them. 

We've been able to spend much needed quality time together, where they get to learn about this real/new me, the girl who has calmed down, and learned some patience and life lessons. They are starting to shed this drill sergeant view of me and I like that.

I get to see how they have grown up, too. You can't hide much when you spend just about 24/7 with someone. Areas they need to work on (so I can see how they do in the future), listen to their woes, see their brilliance and laugh with them at their mistakes.

Anyway, this is where I have been!  I haven't been hiding or skipping out on things but I have definitely needed a break from some people in Ohio. #home

Favorite Cake Friday

I'm trying something new. I am going to make a new cake every Friday to celebrate our week well done. Between having a ton of orders from the etsy shop and trying to let the kids be physically active, it's been busy.  "Ain't nothing wrong with that."

I've also been trying to teach Madeline to talk. That's such a challenge. We've been successful with a few words; "More" "No" "Ma" "Sissy" "Go" "Hi" (along with some she already knew...).

Next: "Down" "Milk" "Play" and I'd like her to tell me if she's hungry and thirsty. She has to learn how to communicate more without throwing fits.

I am also trying to organize trips, yard sales, play times, swimming, splash pad, family time and sports.

I made a basic butter cake this week. Here's my butter cake recipe.

 

Basic Butter Cake Recipe:

Ingredients:

3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened at room temperature

3/4 cup sugar

3 large eggs, works better when they are room temperature

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour plus a few tablespoons on the side

1 1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 - 1/2 cup milk

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 F

Grease/butter pan (I used 9 x 12 but it doesn't really matter, just adjust cooking time accordingly)

Sift baking powder and flour in a bowl; set aside

In your large (main) bowl, beat the butter and sugar until creamy

Beat in the eggs, one at a time (add that extra flour if it doesn't seem to mix or curdles)

Beat in the vanilla

Fold in the flour mixture or beat on very low speed just until mixed

The batter should be able to plop/drop off your spoon, if it doesn't add the milk 

Pour your batter in the pan and spread it nicely across the pan

Bake 20-25 minutes or until a tooth picks comes out clean (sometimes it's much less time!!)

Let that cake cool completely before you frost it!

I cheated on the icing. I used a store bought can of vanilla (colored pink for Valentine's Day) and added a teaspoon and a half of orange extract. Then chopped up a baker's bar of dark chocolate, removed the bigger pieces and sprinkled chocolate dust on the top.

Basic Cake Recipe

Easy Cake Recipe

Sunday Funday

 

 

We went to Community Park East and let the kids play before church.We had 2 more kids with us. I was hoping that Tim would see what it was like to have 5 kids so many he would change his mind about wanting 2 more, but he loved it. 

We found a Wildflower Trail. It was only 3 minutes long, my kind of trail.

The kids loved to play. There are three playsets at this park. They are scattered around to property with trails, tracks, gazebos, Frisbee golf plots and other treasures I haven't discovered yet.

Best part, I can easily walk from our house to there in maybe 15 minutes! I wish my other photos had loaded to this post from my phone.

Summary of No Refined Sugar

I never posted about how we finished out the month with no refined sugar.

I may be able to keep this short and simple.

It was insightful and easily hard. We were able to do it without physical bodily problems, and it was beneficial. We felt good and we felt our bodies and how well they were working.

Socially, it was a killer. Not so much for me, because I can deal with it. Tim had a problem with not being able to socially eat with friends. And then he whined about it. Dealing with that was hard.

There was no way we could control what any of our kids ate when we weren't with them.

It was expensive. We literally spend every dime we had on healthy food. Frankly, that wasn't worth it. How sad is that? In order to have whole foods, you have to spend more money. It shouldn't be that way.

We finished successfully and immediately started suffering negative consequences once we started consuming sugar again (stomach aches, headaches...)

Will we do it again? I don't know. I just don't know.  We learned a lot and that was great. I would like to start heading to a Paleo diet or incorporate more of those recipes for our meals. I'd like to go vegetarian, just myself, but that's scary and I don't even know what that really means!

Being Honest

I've had a rough few days, let me tell you about them.

I've tried really hard to stop being passive-aggressive (especially on facebook) and I've done a great job. Life is tough and sometimes I think in facebook statuses (lame, but I'm sure I'm not the only one...)

I bought 100 bow cards from Vista Print. They were awesome. Sunday morning, Carson did the exact opposite of what Sehara and I both told him to do and spilled tea all over them. It was the first time I'd "officially" purchased some professional physical branding item. I was disappointed in him and a little angry.

Sehara laid them all out before church (they had the little wet wrinkles in them) and they were dry by them time we got home. So, we stacked them up and put some heavy things on top and they are fine. Crises averted. But he was horrible during services, and I ended up with 5 extra kids in my Sunday School class, which wasn't so bad except Sehara was in the other class, part of the 5 I ended up with and she was chatty and obnoxious. We had to leave early, I just couldn't do it. I'm officially drained!

I entered a contest for a free hour-long photo session with some free photos and a print, I thought I had a chance if I put up a professional photo: MY PHOTO, the one I PAID for, with MY children on a different photography site. I didn't feel weird about it, I didn't even think it could be awkward until someone commented on it, tagging the photographer who took it (whom I adore) and said ".......look familiar?"  Ok, So I messaged the photographer, who I am coming to think of as a friend and she said no worries. Great!

But it set me in a weird mood. And then the other girl deleted her comment. Hey, if you aren't going to vote, don't bother commenting! Turns out, after 2 hours, I realized there was no way we were going to win (I mean, right now, the lead has 188 likes and I have 31! HA!). That's why I don't compete, ever! I don't feel upset about it, I just got excited to see what she'd have to offer, and see how her photos are different than any other I have bought.  I'm actually a little embarrassed.

BUT, don't feel bad, we already have 3 shoots booked with Folino Photography.

That's loyalty. In case anyone was wondering.

We moved, and it's been a wonderful mess. We had some friends come over to help move, and a few family members, and a few friends come over the day after to help out. Then a family member took the kids on her birthday (What a Big Heart!), and someone else came over a few times and that ended up in confusion. But, that's IT. NONE of my family came up (even though I asked) and no more help from Tim's family. This has been a solo ride. Yes, I know big things have happened on both of our sides, but when you sit back and look at how everyone goes out of their way for everyone else and not you, it becomes a problem (and we're definitely included in the people who go out of our way). I haven't even bothered asking anyone to take the kids because the past few times have ended in No's.  (Quite Frankly, my feelings are deeply hurt but it doesn't matter..)

On the 2 days my kids go to their Grandmother's, one day I have Ladie's Class, and then the other day I HAVE to get bow orders done(I generally try when the kids go to bed and stay up until 2 or 3 but it isn't the same and I need sunlight!), or stop and go quick shopping that's a pain when you have to get two kids in and out of car-seats.

Having our own home has been a BLESSING. Carson had calmed down and he's starting to show soft affection again. With space, Madeline has taken off with walking and she's stared talking(not sure space is involed in that). Going to Grandmother's helps with that, too. She can teach them anything, and Madeline adores her!

SO, I'm super tired. All of the time. I'm not complaining, I'm just tired. Because I'm tired and my schedule is so messed up, I can't go to sleep when I need to. When has that ever happened in the history of me? I can normally find any spot and lay my head down and fall asleep whenever I please.

I think of a few blog-post ideas daily and I write them out in my head and I HAVE to remember to put a pad of paper in my purse and beside the bed so I can write them down. This page would be much more interesting if I did and people might actually get to see the real me.

I have had so much fun creating new bows, and getting a flood of pictures of babies wearing them. That's been an upper. Hanging up photos that have been stored for years is a huge deal, AND finally printing recent ones is so nice. It makes booking a bunch of photo sessions worth it! :)

I thought that maybe writing about how that girl commented on the photo would help me get over it, but it hasn't. I'm still upset about it. I understand she was probably looking out for her friend, but I didn't steal the picture, so I dunno... But, I guess from that perspective, I feel a little better. 

I know there's going to be some sort of backlash to this post, somewhere and it's not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings and I'm not being passive-aggressive, I'm just trying to be honest. If I wanted to hurt people, I would hint around and say more and not be clear but that's not my goal.
I have to take back my corner in the blogging world and going around pretending my life is a walk in a field of flowers would be a lie, and I'm not up for lying. I just want to be me.

New Yearly Goals

The New Year bring new goals! While I may not make resolutions so to speak, I do embark on some "goals" (not sure there is a difference, but...people just don't like the word "resolution").

Even though it's taken me this long to write about it on my blog I have been keeping my goals.

Here's my short list:

Goals for 2014:

No soft drinks

Organize Toys more often (and then teach the younger ones to do it)

Read my Bible in front of my kids.

Pay attention to the words in songs I am singing (esp. at church)

Write More Letters

Drink More Water

Send Out Birthday Cards

*100 Miles Workout* (facebook thing)

Buy a House, or rent an apartment

Build Better Friendships

We've been working on some here and there and not doing obvious ones (like no soft drinks).

Christmas 2013

Christmas was good to us this year. We have spent a lot of time up here in Ohio to be with Tim's family. For obvious reasons. It was the best decision we could have made. :)

I think for the first time since we have been married, we felt like as much effort as we put in others, we were given back (not just material things... the more important stuff).  We were well prepared for Christmas; we did most of our shopping earlier in the year. Although, I do have to get one more thing (oops) and then send my sister's presents to her in Kentucky.

Folino Photography

It is hard to swallow the fact that we probably won't be able to have the relationship with some family that we would like to, we just don't have the same goals and personalities to have a deep relationship (but we definitely have an amiable one).

We had to put our foot down about Madeline getting swept under the rug. We got a lot of "she's so young, we won't include her in this or that". That was hard, but it's behind us now.

 

Christmas morning was nice and calm. We gave the grandparent's our gift before we went to the family Christmas and they really enjoyed it. Practical and sentimental gifts.

Hopefully this year we can start making more traditions.

I did a lot of crafting. I wanted to do some more for friends and family but I just didn't have the stamina with all the kids underfoot. Maddi and Addi orders came before crafting. The good news: now I will have those things done well before next Christmas.

One of our goals was to spend some time bonding with our kids, making relationships deeper, learning to open up and trust more. It worked with some friends, failed with others.

We got to travel down to Kentucky two days after Christmas and were surprised with a big family dinner and gift exchange! It was lovely. There's nothing better than having your whole family bombard you with hugs and kisses and punches!

So, here it is, a late Merry Christmas. 

Things You May Not Have Known

LeAnna tagged me at 10, so here I go.

1. I debated ignoring this. Then I thought that maybe I should write it on my blog to direct traffic there then decided against it. I'll probably copy and paste this and write more! 

2. Earlier this year, I finished reading my first chapter book since 2010. During my senior year at college, I dedicated myself to reading all of the assignments and burned out. I read a few books, then burned out again. I just finished Percy Jackson two nights ago and I'm addicted again. Hopefully it will last!

3. I've made a lot of bad decisions in my past and I have a lot of regrets because of them. I think it's a delayed sense of remorse because for a while I didn't care and then I thought I wouldn't be where I am now. But I think I could have learned to be me without doing some of the things I did.

4. I hate being interrupted. I'll stop talking when it happens and smile and nod the rest of the conversation. Tim says that's part of having a conversation, but I disagree unless it's an exuberant girly fast-paced thing. Actually, I get interrupted almost every time I talk.

5. I bleed blue! UK ALL THE WAY. But I don't care about watching games or if we lose. I just gloat when we win.

6. I don't like passive-aggressive facebook posts, texts, emails, or comments (although I've been guilty before). I do understand it's hard to vent outright when you're friends on FB, or when they are in person and you're not ready for the confrontation. I have made a goal to not do it, and have been pretty successful lately!

7. I'm conceited. When I was a teenager, I had a long conversation with my oldest sister and accepted some facts about myself(in particular; my appearance). I know what I've got and what I don't have and it won't affect me. Ain't nobody got time for insecurity.

8. I've slowly turned from being more democratic and having more liberal opinions to being more republican and having more conservative opinions in the past 4 years. I still struggle with a lot of things, because I want to believe in mainstream acceptance  but I can't argue with God's word. Sometimes I feel ashamed because of it, so I feign disinterest in political conversations and ignore talks or posts or whatnot (even though I read them and get upset or confused or whatever). Then I go to Granddad or Uncle Don or other trusted people and casually ask like I just wanted to know, lol.

9. I don't like living in Ohio. I AM grateful for the relationships I've made here, the church family I have and the family I married into. Most of all, I'm grateful to live with Tim's Grandparent's and see the fine example they live. You can't hide anything when you live with people and I know I've changed so much just seeing how honest and good two people can be. It's such a good living arrangement. To me, it's a flat ugly grey land full of cornfields. Last summer I finally saw beauty here, driving to and from Friends Nursing Home. I couldn't ignore the sun shining brilliantly.

10. I have mommy issues. I can't understand how a mother could put her children through the things my birth mother put us through. I am so grateful for my mom now. She helps me emotionally when I need her, tells me to get over myself when I'm being stubborn. She talks praise about me and brags on me. I just love her.


11. I love taking my kids to the library but I always end up sweating and getting aggravated and rush Sehara to leave. But I don't feel bad, it takes her 5 minutes to pick out a million books. I love to sign Carson and Madeline up for Mommy and Me time there. I've forgotten to do it lately.


12. I love getting family pictures taken. I love photos of myself, my husband, and my children. I love photos of my family and friend. I plan on having full walls! But not in my living room.I need clean lines and walls to not be anxious. Our latest photos have been through Folino Photography. She's amazing!

13. I'm an introvert. I find social gatherings exhausting and cringe at the thought of going and hanging out. Surprising, because I'm great at being around people, I can always strike up a conversation and get people to talk back. I have excellent icebreaker skills too.

14. I have to sleep for a long time after social gatherings. (Church not included) Or be by myself, take a shower, read, put the kids to bed or SOMETHING so I can have a few minutes. I tell Tim that he can't talk to me for an hour.

15. I miss being me. I decided yesterday that I'll just have to create a new me. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

16. I cloth diaper. I breastfeed, and Tim and I co sleep. I love doing all of them. Some days, I despise doing all of them. Then I think about the alternative and I mentally smack myself.

17. I'm selfish. I don't like sharing. I warned Tim before he married me. He married me anyway. Most days, I'm not too bad, then others he looks at me like he's surprised!

18. I honestly love corrective feedback about things. EXCEPT, about my parenting WHEN it's happening. Like in the middle of a tantrum or unhappy screaming kids. I'll sass you if you try to then. But after (and I really mean waaay after) I'm all ears. That doesn't mean I'll do it, or that I'll agree, but I will listen. Unless it's stupid advice. I accept feedback about me, but you have to give me a few days to think about stuff.

19. I married the most wonderful guy in my whole world. I see those articles being posted everywhere about "Boring men" and "Marriage isn't for me" and all those and think; "I've got me one of those men".

20. I'm more negative than positive, but it's an emotional goal I've been working on.

21. I give up something for a whole year, starting New Year's until the next. This year I gave up adding salt to my food (except for when it HAS to be baked into something or goes into a potluck dish). I won't be adding salt to my food anymore. There's no point. I like the taste of my food as is now.

Catch 22's, Sleep, and Sewing

Well, there has to be something said for "catch 22's"! Where did that phrase come from anyway?

The night before last I had a delicious iced coffee, which kept me awake until 4 a.m. You can imagine I was pretty tired yesterday.
Last night I decided to go to bed earlier than 4 a.m., I tried 11 p.m., and I've been wide awake since 6 a.m.

I actually got a few consecutive hours of sleep in. So now I'm awake. But, nap time will come soon enough.
Carson goes to preschool at 9, and Sehara gets on the bus just before 8. If Carson is awake when it's time for her to leave, I'll have him tag along and we'll walk her together. He'll love that. When he sees a school bus he points and jumps and yells "SKOOLBUS!!!". 

If I am feeling energetic when I drop him off, then I may go to the YMCA to get a workout in. I've been doing good at remembering to actually go and work out. I found it's nice to walk a few miles around the neighborhood. It's been too humid for that the past several days.

I may also write some letters I've been meaning to get to. I have a few college ones that need to go out, and some friends in other places. I bought a fabulous card for Dreama. I signed up at church to send birthday cards to the Potter's Home children, so that must get done as well.

As for crafty stuff, I got a half yard each of some material I want to try out for bows and bow-ties. I thought about sewing some bibs, (I would get more fabric first) and I may get to that in the next few days. A lady at church suggested I buy batting for the middle. I found a tutorial that has a pocket on it, and I don't like that so much, so I thought about leaving it out. She basically traced a bib, and gave some extra room for a seam, put the right sides together, sewed it, turned it out, and sewed around the edges. I maybe could handle that. It wouldn't include a straight line though... But then I saw a few cute bibs with ruffles on them. Oh dear!

Well, it looks like it's Carson's lucky day! That means I need to stop typing.

Busy, Indeed

True to my word, I have been busy keeping busy. We have had such an exciting summer.

Some things that we've done:

As a family:
A BIG trip to Texas for the Pugh Family Reunion. It was amazing. The drive there was so good for us (Tim, Missy, and I) to get to know each other on a deeper level. You get to truly see a person when you are literally with them 24/7. It was great.We were gone for a week. That's a long time!

Sehara:
Sehara got to go so many places. She's been down to Kentucky, spent so much time at friend's houses. She had been to Fort Hill Christian camp. and to Berea, KY for the Eco-Village reunion.

The kids and I (sometimes Tim, depending on work):
We jetted to Berea.Which was another big deal. We have been to play-dates almost every Thursday that we've been in town. We have explored Fairborn, and a little bit of Beavercreek and some of Centerville. We still have a long list to get to. We have spent a lot of time with friends. We went to Young's Jersey Dairy. The kids love that place. We also enjoyed the 4th of July Parade. Us girls go every Tuesday to Lady's class. The kids especially love the splash pad.

We've tried new restaurants, seen some movies, gone on long family walks, explored parks

Looking at my list, it doesn't seem like as much as I thought, but when I think about it, we have to schedule things around church, and naps, sports, diapers, and all that fun stuff.

We still have some things to do:
Kings Island
Ice cream and window shopping in downtown Fairborn with Kayt and her kids.
Berry picking at different farms around here.
A weekend trip to Kelly's in Kentucky.
A weekend trip to my parent's house.
The spray park and snow cones at the Greene with Kayt and kids.
Visit with Connie and see new places,
Visit Kaylee and meet her kids,
Visit Amanda and meet Elijah,
Visit Jodi and meet her girls,
Visit Donna!
And, get more traffic to my blog!

It may take until the end of the year!

Busy Keeping Busy

The summer is just kicking off and it's already as busy as I hoped it would be.
Marybeth graduated high school, and she's off to BCTCS, branched off of UK. It's not too far from my alma mater, and that's always an exciting thing...
Sehara has been busy keeping me busy with all of her activities, not to mention the things I have planned for the little ones and myself & Tim.

Let's see, I got my hair cut! It's pretty good looking, easily managed.

I made it down to Kentucky to see my sissy graduate high school and brought Madeline along. Sehara had too many expensive activities to be present for. Carson got quality time with Grandmother. I did miss them though.  While down there, I got quality time with some family members and it was much needed. A girl needs her parents and sisters and brothers every once in a while.

We have been purposefully busy with church activities, and Christian play-dates. The splash pad has been a huge hit with my kids (kind of). I have a stack of letters laying here next to my computer that need to be mailed off. The public library offers wonderful free programs that I'm taking advantage of.

Tim took a police recruit test, and I hope and literally pray often that something will come out of it. I guess I should be more specific: I want him to get accepted into the academy.

I don't have a phone right now and I feel so cut off from my friends and family, lol. The one thing I never really wanted and I realize it's hard to manage in these days without one. So, it is what it is.

I have become addicted to candy crush. Nothing else needs to be said about this.

That's been our summer thus far. Actually, is it even technically summer yet? You know what I mean.

FlashBack Friday: Paris, France

My friend, Kari and I on our excursion to Paris for a week before summer classes stared in Denmark. Enjoy!

My Box

I have immersed myself completely into my husband, my family, student loans, house searching, the Bible, church, Ladies class, friends and family (not really in order). I've done this slowly for the past two years. I was confused and angry and mean, anxiety was written all over my face when I graduated. I had left a friendship horribly, left a religion, and stepped away to a new scenario.

I mean, I came out pretty well. I have some more tools in my belt. I have a great relationship with my husband and love him and my kids too deeply to describe. I have made new friends, lost some, and made newer ones. I understand the Bible better, even though I get confused with a different doctrine sometimes. I took a step back from "the world" without knowing it and zoned in on me. I let myself feel everything I needed to feel. I have figured out honesty is best, and know how to speak it.

When I realized I didn't know anything that was happening out there, that I wasn't making friends around town, and that I basically didn't have any substantial long term goals, honestly, I was okay with it. I soaked in it. It was freeing. I loved being able to see things from an unbiased view.

There's always something that knocks you off your feet though. We were visiting with a friend and I realized I didn't know anything new. I mean, shoot, what a great way to feel so stupid: when you're conversing with a group of people. Ugh.

It's all great and dandy to know and love yourself and all this great stuff I'd been working on, but sooner or later I have to figure out what's going on around me. The thing is, I think I can do the things I have been doing and figure out how to learn some other things. What would it hurt to read some books every now and again? How about helping out and volunteering, or toting my kids around at the library more, to sports, and school functions. Exposing them to the harmless, and appropriate activities. Gosh, maybe whip my behind in shape like I've been wanting to for a year and a half?!

Maybe, since I have all the important stuff together, I can step out of the nice, tight square box I so willingly like to sit in.

Staying At Home

Being a stay at home mom is rough. Being a stay at home wife is rough. Most days, I fall short of myself, and I don't feel like I get anything done or accomplished. It's a horrible feeling.

So what I have done is I have tucked this post away until I was feeling better about staying at home. I don't want to lead on to people that I hate myself or my job, but I do want to express how difficult it can be more days than not.

This is actually something that I never envisioned myself doing. I thought that when I graduated college, Sehara and I would have a really nice apartment and I would get a great job, or not even great, but a busy job and we would go from there. I never thought I would get married, I never thought I would have more children.

I think we are supposed to be challenged in life and ever-changing for the better. Staying at home with kids and having these high expectations for taking complete care of them, loving them, teaching them, making sure they stay alive, AND having to run errands and get things done for Tim is exhausting. It's rewarding, also. I think that this is more challenging for me than going out there and having a job.

I keep telling myself that just getting to love the kids, and know that they know that I love them and that they are my babies is satisfying in of itself, because it's true. You just never feel love until you love your baby.

Now, I see myself having two more kids with my husband, a house, a busy soccer-mom life, and maybe also having some kind of income-based job.

About Juicing

You know, I don't really like juice. I think the concept is fine and all that, but I don't enjoy drinking juice.

I know this may come to you as a very random thought, but, it's really not.

I feel fat. I feel so fat, and I can't work up the motivation to go run in the snow with my newborn to lose the weight. Mind you, it's only about 10 lbs for now that I want to lose. I don't have a breast pump to go to a gym and I don't have the time to figure something else out (or the energy).

I tried doing some workout videos, I ended up getting in Carson's way. By the time he went down for a nap, Madeline woke up. When I got her settled and happy, Carson woke up again. It happens everyday. Really.

Those are my excuses and I'm sticking to them.

But, I am going to "juice". I don't want to strictly juice, I want to eat real food too AND I don't want my body to "detox" because of the breastfeeding. If I strictly juice, I'm pretty sure I'll go through a detox. It's not really as scary as it sounds.

I'm only writing this because I want to be held accountable. I usually don't write or talk about it in case I screw up.

I'm not starting yet, I'm going to let my taste buds get used to them. Tim and I tried buying all the organic fruits and vegetables and literally juicing them and it didn't work. It was too much work. We don't have a nice enough blender to put them in either. So, I'm buying the pre-made organic ones that have a bit more sodium than I like but I'm drinking them anyway. Organic does matter.

Don't judge me.

Tutu Baby Shower

Welcome to my tutu baby shower! Everything was handmade by my friend and it was so cute and very well done!  The original tutu idea came from pinterest, we are a dance family, so it fits us.

I'll post pictures of the invitations and thank you notes in another post!

I Have Another Pimple

I do. It's right under my cheekbone and it isn't pretty.

I am so upset about it. How dare it have the audacity to pop up when my makeup is over 150 miles away; how dare it!

Since it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I named it Priscilla.

I don't have the best of skin, nor do I have horrible skin. It's speckled and rough and doesn't absorb anything.  At least I don't have arm acne or eczema or psoriasis so I don't suppose I can complain too terribly much.

But then again, there is this HUGE spot residing on my face, greeting people before I even have the chance.

Priscilla is such a skank.

My Nephews Are Pretty Funny

I went to Kentucky this past weekend to spend some time with my sister, Kelly, and her family.  Well, and to help with a birthday party. I had a secret intent as well and that was to fulfill my need to organize things...namely, her cabinets.  I have been dying to get my hands on them. Most importantly, we had a birthday party to figure out.  I was hoping either to decorate or watch her kids but Carson didn't allow for me to do much else than to hold him. *sigh*

Ryder with a cupcake

Getting down to Kentucky was an adventure in of itself... It took 4 1/2 hours with the nasty roads. It was worth it. We got to her house at 3 ish in the morning and got to working on the goody bags.

Kelly made some intriguing police officer goody bags and hand painted each of the kid's names on them, with Puffy paint.  With our mom's help, we stuffed them the next morning. It was a lot to do!!

The party went well, though not as many people showed up as planned, probably due to the horrible weather...  I can't blame them, it was a nasty day.

 I took some of these photos off of facebook.  I think Wendy's page and Kelly's SIL, Buttons, page.  Er, thank you!! :)

This post is really about some of the funny things my nephews did while I was there.  At the moment, I can only remember a few.
This little Ryder, here, has hit the terrible two's!!  He was in EVERYTHING. At one point he was trying to sneak some juice from the counter, something that he could of has without sneaking, so Kelly (before he had a chance to pick it up) gave him permission to drink it.  It made the world of difference and HE GLOWED. Adorable.

 Colton here, with Ruger, dumped a bottle of vinegar in poor Ruger's kennel the morning before I got there.  Gave Kelly a set back in her plans.
After his party on Sat., he crashed on the couch. His head was towards the arm/end of the couch and I laid Carson down with his head towards Colton's feet. 
I went to the back of the house to put something in Colton's room when I hear Carson start to cry. I thought, "ugh, can't he sleep for a few hours?"** and walked back to the living room to find Colton using Carson's face as a pillow. Now, this seems alarming, but it was Hilarious! 
Carson doesn't like things touching his face when he sleeps, so he was whining pretty hard about it.  Colton just patted ever-so-softly on his face to get his pillow to stop making noise.  I mean, we are talking fall on the floor funny. I guess you had to be there.

Ryder

On Sunday morning, I laid Carson on the couch in front of me to play and poor Wilbur (Logan) gets so jealous!  He is 1, so this is expected! He gets on the couch with me to cuddle, and then decides to prey on play with Carson. 
He does so well for a few moments, then decides to stand up and plop himself down on Carson's belly.
He just sits there nonchalantly.

Logan, but you can call him Wilbur.

Moment of panic.  Then something funny happens: nothing.  Carson does nothing besides look up into his cousin's eyes and smile. Ha!  But, I had to move him because he's kind of heavy (but so is Carson).

I didn't get any pictures while I was there, but I wish I had.

Colton with Ruger

Wilbur also made another funny. He doesn't talk, besides maybe a "momma" and "daddy" every now and again. Well, a few other words.  He just doesn't need to.  His brothers say everything for him. Well, Kelly was changing his diaper and a State Farm commercial came one.  You know the jingle. At the end of the commercial, State Farm advertised themselves with said jingle and then I hear a baby voice say "State Farm". 
I thought it over for a minute, you know when something happens and you don't 'get it' right away.  I turned to Kelly and asked her if Wilbur just said "State Farm".  She looked at me and said she heard it too, but thought she was just hearing things like a crazy person.
Litlle Wilbur just clearly had stated the most random thing ever.  It was just a little bit of Epic. Really.
Her house is nothing short of crazy, but it is beautiful chaos.  You can't expect much else with 3 boys five and under.
**I, of course, take Carson with me everywhere I go, like a responsible parent... Lately, he has been having a case of some version of stranger danger.  He cries when someone other than Daddy, Sister, Grandmama, Granddaddy, and Mommy hold him.  Tim finally has a job, so he's gone most of the day, sister is in school, Grandmama has been so sick, so really, it's been granddaddy keeping an eye on him while I get Sehara to and from the bus stop and Me, only Me taking care of him.  It gets exhausting, like being a single parent all over again. I was hoping for other people being able to hold him at Kelly's so I could help her out with things, but that didn't happen and I didn't take my carrier and kids are LOUD, so he couldn't get to sleep and stay that way.  I was exhausted and in those moments I wanted time to myself... and time to feel productive.

My day of no sweets and how that makes me feel.

Shhh, do you hear that? SHHHHH.
That, my dears, is the sound of every piece of candy stashed in this room.
PICK ME!!!!
PICK ME!!!!
PICK ME!!!!!
PICK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PICK ME!!!!!
PICK ME!!!!
I have gone for about 24 hours with no sweets, and my tooth is achin'!
They are all calling out my name, oh the wondrous pieces of chocolate, so delicately wrapped in their foil, staring at me from across the room.  They love me, and they want me to eat them.
But those haters are going to have to wait another 35 minutes, because I am NOT WEAK. I will NOT EAT YOU!!
Those Krispy Kreme Glazed Chocolate Pies, you know the ones.  The ones I got for Tim's lunch.... they aren't even going to know what hit them. I mean, ate them.
I can feel every sweet treat around me, I know the location of them all!!!!!
This is going to be wonderful.
Imagine me, Jenni, with that crazy look, sitting in the middle of my floor with all me sweets around me. Maybe not even eating them. Just staring at them. Touching them.

Who am I kidding?