Being Honest

I've had a rough few days, let me tell you about them.

I've tried really hard to stop being passive-aggressive (especially on facebook) and I've done a great job. Life is tough and sometimes I think in facebook statuses (lame, but I'm sure I'm not the only one...)

I bought 100 bow cards from Vista Print. They were awesome. Sunday morning, Carson did the exact opposite of what Sehara and I both told him to do and spilled tea all over them. It was the first time I'd "officially" purchased some professional physical branding item. I was disappointed in him and a little angry.

Sehara laid them all out before church (they had the little wet wrinkles in them) and they were dry by them time we got home. So, we stacked them up and put some heavy things on top and they are fine. Crises averted. But he was horrible during services, and I ended up with 5 extra kids in my Sunday School class, which wasn't so bad except Sehara was in the other class, part of the 5 I ended up with and she was chatty and obnoxious. We had to leave early, I just couldn't do it. I'm officially drained!

I entered a contest for a free hour-long photo session with some free photos and a print, I thought I had a chance if I put up a professional photo: MY PHOTO, the one I PAID for, with MY children on a different photography site. I didn't feel weird about it, I didn't even think it could be awkward until someone commented on it, tagging the photographer who took it (whom I adore) and said ".......look familiar?"  Ok, So I messaged the photographer, who I am coming to think of as a friend and she said no worries. Great!

But it set me in a weird mood. And then the other girl deleted her comment. Hey, if you aren't going to vote, don't bother commenting! Turns out, after 2 hours, I realized there was no way we were going to win (I mean, right now, the lead has 188 likes and I have 31! HA!). That's why I don't compete, ever! I don't feel upset about it, I just got excited to see what she'd have to offer, and see how her photos are different than any other I have bought.  I'm actually a little embarrassed.

BUT, don't feel bad, we already have 3 shoots booked with Folino Photography.

That's loyalty. In case anyone was wondering.

We moved, and it's been a wonderful mess. We had some friends come over to help move, and a few family members, and a few friends come over the day after to help out. Then a family member took the kids on her birthday (What a Big Heart!), and someone else came over a few times and that ended up in confusion. But, that's IT. NONE of my family came up (even though I asked) and no more help from Tim's family. This has been a solo ride. Yes, I know big things have happened on both of our sides, but when you sit back and look at how everyone goes out of their way for everyone else and not you, it becomes a problem (and we're definitely included in the people who go out of our way). I haven't even bothered asking anyone to take the kids because the past few times have ended in No's.  (Quite Frankly, my feelings are deeply hurt but it doesn't matter..)

On the 2 days my kids go to their Grandmother's, one day I have Ladie's Class, and then the other day I HAVE to get bow orders done(I generally try when the kids go to bed and stay up until 2 or 3 but it isn't the same and I need sunlight!), or stop and go quick shopping that's a pain when you have to get two kids in and out of car-seats.

Having our own home has been a BLESSING. Carson had calmed down and he's starting to show soft affection again. With space, Madeline has taken off with walking and she's stared talking(not sure space is involed in that). Going to Grandmother's helps with that, too. She can teach them anything, and Madeline adores her!

SO, I'm super tired. All of the time. I'm not complaining, I'm just tired. Because I'm tired and my schedule is so messed up, I can't go to sleep when I need to. When has that ever happened in the history of me? I can normally find any spot and lay my head down and fall asleep whenever I please.

I think of a few blog-post ideas daily and I write them out in my head and I HAVE to remember to put a pad of paper in my purse and beside the bed so I can write them down. This page would be much more interesting if I did and people might actually get to see the real me.

I have had so much fun creating new bows, and getting a flood of pictures of babies wearing them. That's been an upper. Hanging up photos that have been stored for years is a huge deal, AND finally printing recent ones is so nice. It makes booking a bunch of photo sessions worth it! :)

I thought that maybe writing about how that girl commented on the photo would help me get over it, but it hasn't. I'm still upset about it. I understand she was probably looking out for her friend, but I didn't steal the picture, so I dunno... But, I guess from that perspective, I feel a little better. 

I know there's going to be some sort of backlash to this post, somewhere and it's not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings and I'm not being passive-aggressive, I'm just trying to be honest. If I wanted to hurt people, I would hint around and say more and not be clear but that's not my goal.
I have to take back my corner in the blogging world and going around pretending my life is a walk in a field of flowers would be a lie, and I'm not up for lying. I just want to be me.