Being a stay at home mom is rough. Being a stay at home wife is rough. Most days, I fall short of myself, and I don't feel like I get anything done or accomplished. It's a horrible feeling.
So what I have done is I have tucked this post away until I was feeling better about staying at home. I don't want to lead on to people that I hate myself or my job, but I do want to express how difficult it can be more days than not.
This is actually something that I never envisioned myself doing. I thought that when I graduated college, Sehara and I would have a really nice apartment and I would get a great job, or not even great, but a busy job and we would go from there. I never thought I would get married, I never thought I would have more children.
I think we are supposed to be challenged in life and ever-changing for the better. Staying at home with kids and having these high expectations for taking complete care of them, loving them, teaching them, making sure they stay alive, AND having to run errands and get things done for Tim is exhausting. It's rewarding, also. I think that this is more challenging for me than going out there and having a job.
I keep telling myself that just getting to love the kids, and know that they know that I love them and that they are my babies is satisfying in of itself, because it's true. You just never feel love until you love your baby.
Now, I see myself having two more kids with my husband, a house, a busy soccer-mom life, and maybe also having some kind of income-based job.
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