Day Twenty

I thought of one of the things I am thankful for!  I know there are many more, but I am very thankful for my Bachelor's Degree.  I worked very hard for that title. I mean, I worked my butt off.  It took me a while to even care about being in college.  I would say that towards the last two years I really took education seriously.  I got into neuroscience, play theory, gerontology, kinesiology, and aquatics something ferocious. I cannot express how much work it was to completely change the way I thought and dig in.  I usually go at things halfway and barely get them done, but I tell ya, I did it all the way.  I will (proudly) say that I impressed every single one of my professors by the time I had graduated. I increased my GPA (not by much though because I had already severely screwed it up) and my personal feeling of achievement, which to me, is more important.

When I found out I was pregnant, about a month after I had graduated, you can imagine my feelings... I won't lie, it was hard to accept.  I had plans to have an amazing career.  I knew it would take a while before I found a satisfying job that I could advance in, but that was okay.  But for as long as it took to accept having more children so soon, I knew that taking care of this little baby, spending time and bonding with him would be ten billion times more important than getting my high from a job.  We just changed our plans around a little and it worked.  Tim just had a few more months to graduate and he would get the job, we would struggle for a little, have our kids and I would eventually get a part time job, then progress into a full time when the kids got old enough.  It works.  We have OUR WHOLE LIVES, however long they will be.  God willing, we'll get at least 50 more years, ya know?  I can't imagine having children just to put them in daycare and not get to know them.  People are everything in this world.  It would stop without them (unless computers take over Matrix style) and my job as a mother is to nurture my children to be great people so they can live in a great world.

It's funny, because first impression may be that I do not use my degree, but I do.  I watch my 8 year old and my 2 month old grow and I help them develop like they should.  I can say with confidence that Carson is right on schedule with his development, besides his head.  He is so lazy (as in he doesn't control his head yet) when people pick him up.  I watch my husband struggle with his body and I help him. I watch people all around me and I get to observe their bodies do what I have been taught that they will do.  I notice when people don't walk normally and can have a meaningful conversation with them (because who doesn't like talking about themselves?) and build my relationships.  I don't act pompous about my degree and let everyone know all about it and think I am better than them.  I know when people know what they are talking about and when they are talking just to act like they do.  Whatever, but at least I have one.  I got it at 22 (if I had tried at all I would have got it at 20 or 21) despite these supposed obstacles being in my way, you know, the whole teenage parent thing. I think it speaks for itself, really. That's not bragging though, that's the truth.

December 2010

I can't help but to laugh because I can imagine my mom reading this post and saying " She's loving on herself".  I think I deserve a moment here for myself.