38 Weeks

38 Weeks 2 Days

Ahh, I need to take a picture.  A bit has happened since my last post.  Not big events, but events none the less.  A lot still needs to happen: pictures for proof.  Tim and I go on walks almost every night, it's our thing.  We are blessed to live with his grandparents, so it's easy to walk for an hour once Sehara goes to bed.  Without them we wouldn't be able to!

Well, my tooth broke off while eating a Charms cherry flavored sucker, on one of our walks.  Ugh, not only did it cut the walk way short, it really upset me.  Didn't hurt at all, just, ughhh.  I do not enjoy teeth problems.  I wasn't comfortable eating or drinking anything but water so you can imagine I was very hungry.  I promptly called a random dentist first thing in the morning and got in that day. 

1/3 of my laundry

Little infant carrier.  Too cute

Awesome matching Stroller

another 1/3 of my laundry

My friend Brandi also took me out that day to save me from my misery.  I got a wonderful pedicure and we walked around the mall a little.  AND THEN Olive Garden.  YEah Buddy!!!  I ate, I'll admit it.  I had to.  Even with a broken tooth.  :)  We went shopping a little too, then she took me to my dental appointment.  Turns out that tooth needed a root canal.  Yay! 

I got referred to another dentist place and got in there the next day.  Got my root canal!  Worst thing about it was laying on my back for 3 hours.  I was kinda high and grumpy for the rest of the day.  My mouth is just a tiny bit sore still and I can't bite down on that tooth.  Next step is getting a crown put on.  That dentistry wants me to get all my wisdom teeth out once I have my little baby.  How does that work if you breastfeed?

Tim and I got to sneak a little peak at our baby boy last Tuesday.  I requested an ultrasound and was given the green flag.  We got to see his little chubby face!  Wasn't a special 3- or 4D ultrasound, but it was definitely great to see.  We reconfirmed that he is indeed a boy!  The tech lady told me that he's little.  As in 5 pounds 15 ounces little, give or take 1 pound (wtf).  I told her those were never accurate, to which she was slightly offended. Oh well.  And as of last Tuesday, I was 95% effaced and 1 cm dilated.  We'll see at tomorrows appointment where I am now.  I know that more of that plug is coming out.  People have lied to me... sex does not help.

Sehara has been at Brandi's since Friday night.  I figure the booger should have as much fun as possible before her brother is born, because I am really going to have her involved with him.  Active roles in this household. 

We are trying to find a dresser to put in our room.  It's hard work.  Tim's grandparent's are getting it and they want to get good quality wood.  Tim agrees, but I honestly don't care as long as it holds these baby clothes. I'm seriously a firm believer that you should have a cheap set of furniture for your children's first 10 or so years, then get your good quality, expensive crap for life. We have baby things coming out of our ears, with no room to breathe.  That's frustrating.  It doesn't help that we can't find anything.  Well, Tim and I went to a thrift store yesterday and found a dresser we really like, we found two actually.  G-mama wants to take me to a few other places to keep looking, but I'm all like, "hey, let's just get this!".  I wouldn't say that though.  That's Tim's job.  And her driving gives me more anxiety than I would like to admit, so I don't really want to go with her (only for that reason).  People don't understand that I have horrible PTSD in the car, more specifically, in the passenger seat of the car.  I can't even tolerate my mother's driving.  I can't tolerate many people's driving.  Tim is a very cautious driver so I lucked out there.

 I am very pleased to announce that since my chiropractor visits I am virtually pain free.  Things get stiff after every walk but that's normal for me.  I can't imagine what my body will feel like once he's out of it.  Will I feel light, or loose and heavy still, with no baby as an excuse?  Questions, questions...

Oh, and I had this plan, right?  This plan about who would be in the hospital room when we delivered.  People that are important and who I thought would be an integral part of this baby's life, but I judged that based on the relationships I built when I first moved here.  Things have changed and I have become closer to other people, and I have really seen who cares about me and mine, just by observing who takes to Sehara and has patience with her and enjoys her as much as I do, and those aren't the people I originally picked.  How do I go about telling them that I don't want them there any more?  Harshly, I don't even know if I want my mom there, either.  I feel like she doesn't see this as important or a priority.  I know that if my other sisters were having problems and needed her, she'd be there and do anything in a heartbeat.  I don't see that for me.  But I'll call anyway and hope that she gets here.

Okay, since it has taken me a few days to write this post, I would like to add that I have been to see my OB/GYN this morning and nothing has changed. Nothing.  Minus the fact that I went from 95% effaced to 80%.  How does that happen?  I still can't find a pediatrician and I need to make another dentist appointment.  I feel "done".  I just want to lay down and die.  Seriously.

I Got Married!!

I got married the 14th, on Valentines Day. Isn't that just so sweet? We did the courthouse thing. It was so peaceful... it was just he and I and Sehara, along with my parents and his mom and grandmama. We did pictures, courtesy of Selah Photography and went to O'Charley's to eat. I sooo wanted a steak and got it. Overall, it was the calmest experience I have had in a while. His family adores Sehara and I, as does mine, and I couldn't ask for much more.

Right now Sehara and Tim are at Church and I'm sitting on my bum, experiencing a Huge headache. I've been getting them daily for about a week now. No fun.

Work has upgraded my hours to 20 a week (from 10). I suppose I'm part-time now. The thing is with them, that they send people home early all the time to "save labor". I got 5 hours cut off my week from going home early yesterday. Regardless, it's more than before. I can say that it stinks that I'll have to move out soon due to disrespect (first excuse), then the owners walking away from the house (2nd excuse) because of their financial situation, when I'll finally be able to give them more money monthly. But, I don't think that's going to happen (giving them my $$) because of the lack of reasons I was given. In turn, I think I was the friend that was disrespected the most. I keep care of this house better than they ever did, with a dog. I never thought I would see my great friend send me a text saying we were kicked out, without talking to me first. I think communication is the key to all healthy relationships, and I learned that the hard way. I have been questioning what kind of friend I have invested in the past three years to be smacked in the face. Did I ever really know her?

I called her right away and had to probe every corner of the conversation to get even the littlest reply. You can send those texts, but you can't talk?!? One of the biggest problems, besides lack of respect, was that the utility bill was high (ok, call me so we can discuss it). I don't get that I am the one to get the brunt of the blame when the roommate downstairs leaves the lights on constantly, they hadn't been turned off in three months until I went down to the garage to do it. And she leaves the garage door open all day in the friggin dead of winter, along with using that door as her primary leaving/entering door. Who does that? Yeah, we three upstairs use our fair share of utilities, but we definitely do not abuse it. We are very conservative in that aspect because we know that times are hard. To top it off, I was literally depositing all of my paychecks, minus $20 for gas, into her account for rent/utilities. We both knew that once I graduated it wouldn't be the whole amount, but when the jobs got rolling, it would eventually balance out.

On a more positive note, Sehara has started calling Tim "daddy". We both never asked her to do it. The day we got married, she just started doing it. It's still really awkward, but I guess we'll get used to it. I wonder if the grandparents had anything to do with it? hmm. Married life is so nice. It's not much different, because we were spending all of our time together beforehand, just now it's accepted...lol. We've been going through all of our things to figure out this moving stuff, trying to get rid of the junk for now. I've accumulated quite a bit since I have been on my own. It's my pride that wants to keep it all, I earned it, ya know?