I Have Another Pimple

I do. It's right under my cheekbone and it isn't pretty.

I am so upset about it. How dare it have the audacity to pop up when my makeup is over 150 miles away; how dare it!

Since it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I named it Priscilla.

I don't have the best of skin, nor do I have horrible skin. It's speckled and rough and doesn't absorb anything.  At least I don't have arm acne or eczema or psoriasis so I don't suppose I can complain too terribly much.

But then again, there is this HUGE spot residing on my face, greeting people before I even have the chance.

Priscilla is such a skank.

Just About 34 Weeks

I'm doing pretty well. I just started dealing with tailbone issues and some back discomfort. Not to mention fatigue, restless leg syndrome, and extreme irritation, but these aren't things that are making my life horrible. There is no complaining on my part.

I still have so much to do before I have this child. I have to get stuff together and moved around.  I want to tour the hospital again.  I also have my baby shower in a few weeks.

I think, more importantly, I really need to focus on Carson and S.  They aren't lacking attention (are you kidding me?!?! My kids demand attention and keep demanding until they get it) but I don't want any drama from them after this birth, even though I know it will happen.

33 Weeks, 6 Days.  Baby #3

I haven't really started nesting yet. Is there even any time for that? I have been making hair-bows for my girls. They will have to match, of course... I have every intention of sewing, too. Maybe that's my nesting.

Actually, I am sewing to make a quiet bag for Carson for church. He is loud, with a capital L. I just have to figure it out because he needs to learn to sit now, rather than later.

Enjoy my pretty face!

On The Things I've Neglected

I have failed miserably at remembering that I have allotted every Tuesday this year as a "no sweets day".  I would be 100% successful at my goal if I had only remembered each Tuesday.  I suppose Tuesday was a bad day to do it and I guess if I started now I would be able to get in 40 days plus of no sweets. It's hard though...because I included artificially sweetened things too, like Diet Coke, but then sweet tea has sugar and orange juice and this list goes on! So, basically, all I can drink is water and while I like water, it's boring. I need a little pizazz to my cup!

I forgot to keep practicing to crochet, so now I have completely forgotten how to. I think I want to take a class, somewhere... I know the library here has a knitting class but that won't do. It looks complicated.
I think some ladies at church should start one up!

I bought some used picture frames this summer to make really cool DIY things with, and didn't do anything more than sand them down. They are in a box slowly decaying away. Actually,  I asked Tim to spray paint them a few months ago because I thought being pregnant, I'm not supposed to do it but I think I can.  Is that an old rule or still current? It's not his fault, I re-asked him again on Saturday if he could do it Sunday and he said he couldn't because his day was full.

I lost my mini clothes pins that I now need for a quiet bag because my children are very loud and active at church. I better find them!

I put off weaning Carson from the bottle to a sippy cup. I just can't do it. Really, I can and I will. I started today... I have only given him one bottle and I put a few away.  I have a few to wash before I can pack them up.  My plan is to put him on those silicone cups, the soft ones... and the sippy cups with straws. I hate the straws, but he likes them so whatever to that.

Lastly, I have seriously neglected Tim.  I haven't been giving him as much attention as he needs (and the same to him, lol). He also needs "alone time", something he has always gotten because I've made week long trips to Kentucky with the kids when he couldn't go.  He was able to basically do what he wanted without getting pulled in different directions. He won't get that nearly as often anymore so he'll have to deal.

Other than all this nonsense, I have gotten a lot done! Kuddos to me, and energy to me to get this other business taken care of.

A Snippet of My Thoughts Today

I have baby brain.  It's not a big secret, I have basically been pregnant for two years. That last month before I got pregnant with this baby, I could think clearly and my brain started working quickly again.  I miss that feeling. I really do.  I wonder what people think of me sometimes, people up here that have only known me like this*.  If there is any long period of time between this little baby girl and the next one, maybe I'll feel like myself again.

Not completely like the old Jenni. I truly believe people need to change and adapt to their life.  Though, the biggest problem with change, is that change isn't always a good thing. I see so many people go bitter and nasty. I have felt less anxious and depressed in these past two years than the three years before that. If that's just because of babies and pregnancies and it doesn't stick around after my kids get a little older, then I'll go back to therapy.  I am really hoping the happiness is because of maturity and a pretty good life.

My 'pretty good life' hasn't come easily.  It's not about material things, money, relationships, location, or any of that stuff (and I'm not bragging).  It's about acceptance and I'm not sure what exactly I have accepted or have come to peace with, but it's there and it's what I work on every single day.  I'm not saying I have laid down and died and stopped caring, I'm saying that I can't be motivated by anger anymore because it's not healthy.

I do get mad, I really do, but I know where the anger comes from and it's okay.  I get over it.  I do allow myself to be hurt a lot, but that's okay too and I get over it as well.  I would like to point out that jealousy isn't my thing.  To assume I'm jealous of anyone or anything is to have one of the most incorrect assumptions about me. I am about fairness but I can't make anyone be fair, that's on them. I DO want things, like a van and my own house, but I know that whether I have them or not, it's because of choices that Tim and I make; it's on us (and make no mistake that it's because of laziness or lack of action....it's about planning and waiting and we are okay with that even though it's hard).

Back to acceptance: The biggest thing I'm working on right now is peoples' abilities to completely have faith that there is a God and Jesus is his son and heaven is there (and don't act on it).  I hear and see comments all the time about Jesus and whatnot and see these people not active in a church or acts of faith but they know.  They just know!  I ponder about everything and actively choose to believe and work on my faith everyday.  It's a lot of work but I know it's better to believe and follow those commandments than to not.  I do have some amazing examples around me, so that's a thumbs up! :)

*I also wonder about what people think of me that have only been facebook friends, or relatives of the family I've married into and have never spent time with me. Or even my family that I haven't spent much time with since college.  Facebook isn't my life and neither is my blog; there is so much more.  I figure some people who have interacted with me through a second party could think I'm as nice as Jesus, or the most horrible person on Earth. I'm neither (ha), I'm not even in the middle.

It feels nice to write about myself again, but maybe I do that often!!  There is no way for me to possibly write down how I feel about everything I've written here 100% because this post would be too long. So, there.

Also, I would like to point out that at any point in time, I reserve the right to change my mind about anything.