My Birth Story

*This post contains some pretty graphic pictures and details.  If you don't want to see, click that X in the top right corner*

Our intention was always to go naturally.  Like, completely natural...almost in a hippie fashion because let's face it: it's healthier for the baby and the mother.  I will put in my little disclaimer so no one yells at me, that it is safer for some mom's to have a c-section... yada yada.  Because it is.  I had no road bumps in my pregnancy for a c-section to even be considered though.  We wanted to go as natural as a water birth or the squatting kind.  In the end, we decided laying on a bed would be the most interactive/easy for my team and I.

Anyway, at 37 weeks, I started dilating and it was going to be at least one more week.  38 weeks, still 1 cm and it would be at least one more week.  Tim and I realized Sehara's birthday was only 2 weeks away from my due date.  So at 39 weeks, being only 1 cm still dilated and at least one more week we asked about the possibility of being induced.  Our doctor asked us to come back at the end of the week to see if I had progressed anymore and we would see where to go from there.  One day before 40 weeks, on Friday, still only 1 cm dilated and my effacement had gone down, like stepping back on the progression board (only from him moving around and not putting pressure on my cervix).  We decided we would jump-start labor the next morning with gel, and more importantly, not pitocin.

We got to the hospital a little early, 5:45a.m. and started the paperwork.  Finished by 6:00 a.m., very conveniently, and got escorted to our suite. The nurses were about to change shifts, so one just came in to put an i.v. in and the monitors on.  Then we met our nurse for 12 hours, Marilee, and fell in love!!  She let me know that I could be as mobile as I wanted as long as I wheeled my little "friend" around and that my doctor called and said he was on his way.  7:25, he came in, massaged my cervix for a good while with the gel, and chatted with Tim, Marilee and I for about an hour about timing things and degrees that we all had.  I had what seemed very similar to Braxton-Hicks only they got stronger and stronger.  Around 10 a.m., I was officially "in labor".  The plan was to use, if I needed them, 2 doses of the gel and if I didn't dilate enough, THEN pitocin would be given to me.  My mom and sister arrived about this time!!!  (YAY)  Around 11, I had my second internal exam and I had dilated to 2 cm.  The nurse seemed very pleased and said that I should have my baby by the end of the day...  But, I had to have a second dose of the gel.

4 hours later and nothing.  I hadn't dilated or effaced any more. My Doctor was constantly communicating with the nurses and had them give me the option of eating and showering or just starting the pitocin.  Of course I chose to eat!!  Pitocin was given an hour later.  The nurse came in a few times and increased the dosage.  The contractions started getting more and more painful.  I had my team and my ball so I could handle it.   After 4 or 5 hours I got another internal exam to see if I had progressed.  I hadn't.   I was so sad.  Everyone but Tim left the room and I balled my eyes out because the plan was if I hadn't dilated at all, I would be taken off everything for a few hours, I could eat again, then around 12:00 a.m. I would be started on pitocin again.  I just felt like my body wasn't doing what it should do as a woman.  I didn't go into labor naturally and now my body wasn't taking this "stuff".

So, everyone went to sleep for the night, away from the hospital, and Tim and I tried to get some rest.  I had to be given an Ambien to sleep.  I hadn't slept for about 48 hours until this point.  I don't remember much until 12 or 1 a.m. when a new nurse came in to give me pitocin again, then I fell back to sleep.  I startled awake around 3 a.m. with an oxygen mask on my face and a bunch of tubes all over me.  Scary!!  I woke Tim up and he got the nurse.  She explained to me that the baby had some distress once the pitocin kicked back in and she had talked me through what was happening but I was completely out of it...  I went back to sleep, mask free, until some time in the morning.   My nurse, the awesome one, told me she wasn't playing anymore and cranked the pitocin up and up and up.  I had another exam and I still hadn't dilated so they decided they wanted to go ahead and break my water.

I just had to wait a little while because there were like 3 emergency c-sections going on.

Around noon, the cutest little doctor came in and did the deed. I was so mean to him.  He decided to break my water in the middle of a contraction.  Jenni was not a happy camper.

An hour later I had dilated to 4 cm.  My doctor decided to come to the hospital and wait it out in my room, with my family.  That was super awesome!!  Only, he kept talking... and one of my "rules" (completely made up out of pain) was no talking during a contraction.  The second rule was, if you were in my room during a contraction, you had to be rubbing some part of my body.  It was weird, but it worked.  And my doctor was loud.

Unfortunately, the pain was causing some serious anxiety.  My nurse kept asking me if I wanted an epidural, and I did not, but I did request some kind of pain medicine. We decided on Nubain.  The first dose was absolutely wonderful.  I still felt the contraction at its peak, but I didn't feel it start or end.  So lovely, and it took away my anxiety so I could focus on my breathing.  Another hour passed, and that Nubain wore off.  My doctor allowed a second dose but it didn't do squat.  At this internal exam, I was 8 cm dilated!!

I went to the bathroom, for the billionth time.  My doctor told me that when I got back to the bed, I would probably need to use the bathroom one more time and I would feel like I needed to poop and push, but not to push on the toilet.  When that happened, to let him know.  So after a good 10 or 20 minutes (not exact timing here), I went back to the bathroom.  I was really just eager to get it done with. BUT, I felt enormous pressure, definitely like I need to poo and I couldn't help, literally, to push.  I yelled out to him and headed back to the bed. He checked me and I was fully dilated, but with just a little "lip" left on my cervix.  He said that if I felt the need to push, go ahead and do it.

The doctors and Tim suited up (that cutie doctor that broke my water was there to assist).  I'm writhing in pain on the bed and pushing.  When they got to the bed they could see the baby's cone head!  So, I just kept pushing and pushing.  Actually, after I pushed that first time, I got a little 2 minute reprieve from contractions.  Ha!  Bad timing!!  They kicked in again and I did what I needed to do.  I remember a burning pain, like a HUGE burning pain in my lady parts but I pushed past it.  Tim actually delivered our son with the help of both doctors.  He only froze once when the baby needed to be rotated.  I will never forget the relief I felt when Carson was completely out.  Pain-free, literally.  Everything felt better.  I had only one more desire to push, and that was for the placenta.  Which I requested to see, and my doctor obliged and gave everyone there a tutorial on the anatomy of my placenta AND giving me the utmost compliments on how it  was evident that I was not a smoker, I took my vitamins and very good care of myself during pregnancy. :)

After nearly 30 hours of labor, Carson was born at 2:32 p.m.  He weighed 7 pounds, 9 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long.  The 1/2 was his cone-head, but the doctor gave it to him anyway!  Enjoy the pictures!!

 

Ok, so I can't figure out how to make these photos look good.  Oh well.  Enjoy anyway.Oh, and P.s., Poop happens!!  It did for me and it was pretty gross but, what do you do?? :)

40 weeks

40 Weeks

We started our 40 week mark bright and early at the hospital to get labor moving along.  Here I am in all my pregnant glory!!  I look hott, no seriously, I do. I had to hold my boobies up in the picture so they didn't sag! Going in the 40th week I craved chili like no one's business.  My hips started hurting again because I missed a chiropractor appointment.  I stayed only 1 cm dilated. My little boy started getting super active again.  Painfully active. 
Turns out, that stroller/car seat set that I love is defective.  The car seat didin't fully buckle down into the base.  DANGER.  So, we have to take that back and we got another set.  It has purple on it. ;)
I couldn't sleep at all anymore.  My legs twitched so bad that I cried all night long from fatigue/discomfort.  Then I couldn't breathe because my nose was stuffed up from crying.  It was hard.  Anyway, this post isn't long, but it needed to be posted because I DID make it to 40 weeks.  :)

39 Weeks

Tim holding Zach

39 Weeks

Stretch Marks on the war path

Yes, I am still pregnant.  Seems to be a running theme these days.  Literally, the most annoying thing about still being pregnant is everyone asking me where my baby is.  Isn't it obvious?  He's still in my uterus, which is connected to my vagina, so thanks for asking.  My mom says it's just because everyone is anxious and stuff.  REALLY?  I don't really care.  I seriously want to skip church tomorrow because that's all the crap I'm going to hear.  I honestly don't know when his birthday will be and I still have at least another week before I am even due. 
Our cousins, Jeanine and Adam, had Zachary Pugh on Friday morning, 8:20 a.m.  He weighed in at 8 pounds, 2.4 ounces and 20 inches long.  An adorable butterball if I do say so myself.  That picture of Tim with a baby is his first time holding a newborn.  Just wait until this one is 5 minutes old, that'll be even newer for him to hold.  He was scared, scared I tell ya, to hold him.  Didn't want to be the one to drop him... 
I don't have much pain to complain about!  I do get horrible Braxton-Hicks if my bladder is remotely filled or if I have to poop.  I weigh a ton, literally, and I'm getting more "swallowed a watermelon" comments.  My old stretch marks are stretching further and getting red at the tips.  That saddens me but I know that after I have all my kids I am so getting that fixed.  Tim and I have agreed that if it's important enough for me to want a better looking belly, then it's worth the investment.  Once again, AFTER all of our babies are birthed.  I'll lose the weight of course, so there will be no need for that liposuction that usually goes with a tummy tuck.  I just need the loose skin off.  I don't even care much for some stretch marks remaining as long as that skin is clipped!!
All of the cloth diapers we have are finally washed and put away.  We decided to use the disposable until they are gone, then start in on our cloth.  We did take a few packs of disposables back to the store because they are pretty expensive and we wanted other things more.  We wouldn't even be able to go with cloth if it wasn't for Missy, Tim's mom.  She has basically bought all of them, and they aren't cheap.  But then, we wouldn't have been able to afford getting disposables every other week. We came out on top in this particular situation.
I'm eager to see if I have made any progress with my cervix this week.  Tim told me in the car today that he thought maybe because I had to get induced with Sehara that my body didn't learn how to go into labor naturally.  To be honest, I have thought that myself, but I never connected that thought with "me".  I thought it about other women who would just go get induced as soon as the doctor gave the green flag and didn't give their bodies time.  I am not an expert at all, just a passing thought.
Anywho, I am totally drooling over Nora Robert's "Gallaghers of Ardmore trilogy" and I think I'll get back to the second book. 

38 Weeks

38 Weeks 2 Days

Ahh, I need to take a picture.  A bit has happened since my last post.  Not big events, but events none the less.  A lot still needs to happen: pictures for proof.  Tim and I go on walks almost every night, it's our thing.  We are blessed to live with his grandparents, so it's easy to walk for an hour once Sehara goes to bed.  Without them we wouldn't be able to!

Well, my tooth broke off while eating a Charms cherry flavored sucker, on one of our walks.  Ugh, not only did it cut the walk way short, it really upset me.  Didn't hurt at all, just, ughhh.  I do not enjoy teeth problems.  I wasn't comfortable eating or drinking anything but water so you can imagine I was very hungry.  I promptly called a random dentist first thing in the morning and got in that day. 

1/3 of my laundry

Little infant carrier.  Too cute

Awesome matching Stroller

another 1/3 of my laundry

My friend Brandi also took me out that day to save me from my misery.  I got a wonderful pedicure and we walked around the mall a little.  AND THEN Olive Garden.  YEah Buddy!!!  I ate, I'll admit it.  I had to.  Even with a broken tooth.  :)  We went shopping a little too, then she took me to my dental appointment.  Turns out that tooth needed a root canal.  Yay! 

I got referred to another dentist place and got in there the next day.  Got my root canal!  Worst thing about it was laying on my back for 3 hours.  I was kinda high and grumpy for the rest of the day.  My mouth is just a tiny bit sore still and I can't bite down on that tooth.  Next step is getting a crown put on.  That dentistry wants me to get all my wisdom teeth out once I have my little baby.  How does that work if you breastfeed?

Tim and I got to sneak a little peak at our baby boy last Tuesday.  I requested an ultrasound and was given the green flag.  We got to see his little chubby face!  Wasn't a special 3- or 4D ultrasound, but it was definitely great to see.  We reconfirmed that he is indeed a boy!  The tech lady told me that he's little.  As in 5 pounds 15 ounces little, give or take 1 pound (wtf).  I told her those were never accurate, to which she was slightly offended. Oh well.  And as of last Tuesday, I was 95% effaced and 1 cm dilated.  We'll see at tomorrows appointment where I am now.  I know that more of that plug is coming out.  People have lied to me... sex does not help.

Sehara has been at Brandi's since Friday night.  I figure the booger should have as much fun as possible before her brother is born, because I am really going to have her involved with him.  Active roles in this household. 

We are trying to find a dresser to put in our room.  It's hard work.  Tim's grandparent's are getting it and they want to get good quality wood.  Tim agrees, but I honestly don't care as long as it holds these baby clothes. I'm seriously a firm believer that you should have a cheap set of furniture for your children's first 10 or so years, then get your good quality, expensive crap for life. We have baby things coming out of our ears, with no room to breathe.  That's frustrating.  It doesn't help that we can't find anything.  Well, Tim and I went to a thrift store yesterday and found a dresser we really like, we found two actually.  G-mama wants to take me to a few other places to keep looking, but I'm all like, "hey, let's just get this!".  I wouldn't say that though.  That's Tim's job.  And her driving gives me more anxiety than I would like to admit, so I don't really want to go with her (only for that reason).  People don't understand that I have horrible PTSD in the car, more specifically, in the passenger seat of the car.  I can't even tolerate my mother's driving.  I can't tolerate many people's driving.  Tim is a very cautious driver so I lucked out there.

 I am very pleased to announce that since my chiropractor visits I am virtually pain free.  Things get stiff after every walk but that's normal for me.  I can't imagine what my body will feel like once he's out of it.  Will I feel light, or loose and heavy still, with no baby as an excuse?  Questions, questions...

Oh, and I had this plan, right?  This plan about who would be in the hospital room when we delivered.  People that are important and who I thought would be an integral part of this baby's life, but I judged that based on the relationships I built when I first moved here.  Things have changed and I have become closer to other people, and I have really seen who cares about me and mine, just by observing who takes to Sehara and has patience with her and enjoys her as much as I do, and those aren't the people I originally picked.  How do I go about telling them that I don't want them there any more?  Harshly, I don't even know if I want my mom there, either.  I feel like she doesn't see this as important or a priority.  I know that if my other sisters were having problems and needed her, she'd be there and do anything in a heartbeat.  I don't see that for me.  But I'll call anyway and hope that she gets here.

Okay, since it has taken me a few days to write this post, I would like to add that I have been to see my OB/GYN this morning and nothing has changed. Nothing.  Minus the fact that I went from 95% effaced to 80%.  How does that happen?  I still can't find a pediatrician and I need to make another dentist appointment.  I feel "done".  I just want to lay down and die.  Seriously.