This Goes Somewhere Else

I was sitting in our office sideways so I could see into the family(living) room and keep an eye on the little ones. Carson found a little tub of teddy graham cookies (you know, the $1 impulse purchase ones near the checkout) that a lady at church gave him (right at the beginning of our no-refined sugar challenge so it's been sitting around for a while). Madeline wanted some, too, so I was convincing Carson to share. He would give her one here and there until she finally roared at him and he was forced to give her a handful.

I was thinking about how possessive he was being over the graham cookies and contemplating how much to parent, trying to teach him to want to share vs being a helicopter parent, which I feel like I am the majority of the time. Or was he being dominant and trying to mark his territory(still thinking back in the office) and should I let him? But, isn't sharing and kindness more important?

I picked up a needle and plucked a strand of white thread through the hole- it was a smaller needle than I have used before to finish off the bowties from my shop. I hand-sew the middle piece in the back of the bow part, so the collar strap stays on (I use glue too, whatever). I thought I would try the smaller size this time because I keep bending the bigger needles and I'm new at the sewing stuff.

I started making my stitches and just stopped. It's amazing. It's amazing how changing one thing in your life can make such a big difference. Changing the size of the needle put things in perspective for me.

You see, I adore bowties, I think they are perfection with suspenders, they are game changers with sweater vests. But, they are hard for me to make. I have come to resent making them, but I just can't not make them. I have a boy and sometimes I can't find bowties that I like that are what I want and decently priced. So I want to provide those. But there are so many steps to my bowties.

By changing the needle size, I feel like I can do it. My life feels lighter. Like I can sit down and do another few dozen custom orders and not dread all the different steps.

It got me to thinking about some other recent changes I have made. I mean, life is still tough, it's super tough most of the time but there are things I can do to make it easier and I need to figure them out as they come. And those recent changes have, for the most part been a huge relief, life altering.