Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Things You May Not Have Known

LeAnna tagged me at 10, so here I go.

1. I debated ignoring this. Then I thought that maybe I should write it on my blog to direct traffic there then decided against it. I'll probably copy and paste this and write more! 

2. Earlier this year, I finished reading my first chapter book since 2010. During my senior year at college, I dedicated myself to reading all of the assignments and burned out. I read a few books, then burned out again. I just finished Percy Jackson two nights ago and I'm addicted again. Hopefully it will last!

3. I've made a lot of bad decisions in my past and I have a lot of regrets because of them. I think it's a delayed sense of remorse because for a while I didn't care and then I thought I wouldn't be where I am now. But I think I could have learned to be me without doing some of the things I did.

4. I hate being interrupted. I'll stop talking when it happens and smile and nod the rest of the conversation. Tim says that's part of having a conversation, but I disagree unless it's an exuberant girly fast-paced thing. Actually, I get interrupted almost every time I talk.

5. I bleed blue! UK ALL THE WAY. But I don't care about watching games or if we lose. I just gloat when we win.

6. I don't like passive-aggressive facebook posts, texts, emails, or comments (although I've been guilty before). I do understand it's hard to vent outright when you're friends on FB, or when they are in person and you're not ready for the confrontation. I have made a goal to not do it, and have been pretty successful lately!

7. I'm conceited. When I was a teenager, I had a long conversation with my oldest sister and accepted some facts about myself(in particular; my appearance). I know what I've got and what I don't have and it won't affect me. Ain't nobody got time for insecurity.

8. I've slowly turned from being more democratic and having more liberal opinions to being more republican and having more conservative opinions in the past 4 years. I still struggle with a lot of things, because I want to believe in mainstream acceptance  but I can't argue with God's word. Sometimes I feel ashamed because of it, so I feign disinterest in political conversations and ignore talks or posts or whatnot (even though I read them and get upset or confused or whatever). Then I go to Granddad or Uncle Don or other trusted people and casually ask like I just wanted to know, lol.

9. I don't like living in Ohio. I AM grateful for the relationships I've made here, the church family I have and the family I married into. Most of all, I'm grateful to live with Tim's Grandparent's and see the fine example they live. You can't hide anything when you live with people and I know I've changed so much just seeing how honest and good two people can be. It's such a good living arrangement. To me, it's a flat ugly grey land full of cornfields. Last summer I finally saw beauty here, driving to and from Friends Nursing Home. I couldn't ignore the sun shining brilliantly.

10. I have mommy issues. I can't understand how a mother could put her children through the things my birth mother put us through. I am so grateful for my mom now. She helps me emotionally when I need her, tells me to get over myself when I'm being stubborn. She talks praise about me and brags on me. I just love her.

11. I love taking my kids to the library but I always end up sweating and getting aggravated and rush Sehara to leave. But I don't feel bad, it takes her 5 minutes to pick out a million books. I love to sign Carson and Madeline up for Mommy and Me time there. I've forgotten to do it lately.

12. I love getting family pictures taken. I love photos of myself, my husband, and my children. I love photos of my family and friend. I plan on having full walls! But not in my living room.I need clean lines and walls to not be anxious. Our latest photos have been through Folino Photography. She's amazing!

13. I'm an introvert. I find social gatherings exhausting and cringe at the thought of going and hanging out. Surprising, because I'm great at being around people, I can always strike up a conversation and get people to talk back. I have excellent icebreaker skills too.

14. I have to sleep for a long time after social gatherings. (Church not included) Or be by myself, take a shower, read, put the kids to bed or SOMETHING so I can have a few minutes. I tell Tim that he can't talk to me for an hour.

15. I miss being me. I decided yesterday that I'll just have to create a new me. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

16. I cloth diaper. I breastfeed, and Tim and I co sleep. I love doing all of them. Some days, I despise doing all of them. Then I think about the alternative and I mentally smack myself.

17. I'm selfish. I don't like sharing. I warned Tim before he married me. He married me anyway. Most days, I'm not too bad, then others he looks at me like he's surprised!

18. I honestly love corrective feedback about things. EXCEPT, about my parenting WHEN it's happening. Like in the middle of a tantrum or unhappy screaming kids. I'll sass you if you try to then. But after (and I really mean waaay after) I'm all ears. That doesn't mean I'll do it, or that I'll agree, but I will listen. Unless it's stupid advice. I accept feedback about me, but you have to give me a few days to think about stuff.

19. I married the most wonderful guy in my whole world. I see those articles being posted everywhere about "Boring men" and "Marriage isn't for me" and all those and think; "I've got me one of those men".

20. I'm more negative than positive, but it's an emotional goal I've been working on.

21. I give up something for a whole year, starting New Year's until the next. This year I gave up adding salt to my food (except for when it HAS to be baked into something or goes into a potluck dish). I won't be adding salt to my food anymore. There's no point. I like the taste of my food as is now.

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